Cocoa Cracker

Friday, March 31, 2006

Waaaaaay too funny...wayyyy too true!

60's music updated:

It was fun being a baby boomer....until now. Some of the artists of the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include:

1. Herman's Hermits--- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.

2. The Bee Gees--- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.

3. Bobby Darin--- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.

4. Ringo Starr--- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.

5. Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.

6. Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now.

7. Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

8. The Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.

9. Marvin Gaye--- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.

10. Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair.

11. Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.

12. The Temptations--- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.

13. Abba--- Denture Queen.

14. Tony Orlando--- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.

15. Helen Reddy--- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.

16. Willie Nelson--- On the Commode Again

17. Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure and I'll Cry If I Want To.

I particularly like #13 :)

Posted JDaaris @ 9:49 AM :: 8 chocolate drops

Gimme some chocolate!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Been an interesting/busy week

Hi all, I'll try to keep this brief and interesting. At the beginning of the week I had a private conversation with my immediate boss at work; she told me that she is thinking about leaving, or stepping down. That wasn't really shocking to me, but it would be a bad thing for our dept, me especially. Another coworker is salivating for the job; she would be lousy at it. She has no people skills, doesn't like anybody who might challenge her (she thinks she is always right), and can be personally nasty and sarcastic. Just the kind of person I want approving my time off slips, if you know what I mean.... I could apply for the job as well, and might give this other gal a run for her money, but I DON'T WANT THE JOB. I would rather work at home, at the hours I currently work, and pursue my other creative outlets. I would end up applying for the job only to prevent the "nasty one" from getting it... which is a lousy reason. Not only that, the pay is less than what I make as an hourly employee. I stewed about that situation this week, for about two days, then got word that she's putting off doing anything regarding her decision for at least a couple more months... I know this sounds naive to most, but I'm trusting in the Lord to protect my job and to protect me from the nasty one. I'm just going to try to be the best employee I can be, as helpful as I can be, and trust that all will work out in the end. Stewing over the situation won't change it.

That's been my week, pretty much, except I was out sick for 1-1/2 days... lack of sleep. One night I actually got 1-1/2 hours, the following night I got 3 hours. I just can't do my job without being alert!

Posted JDaaris @ 8:14 AM :: 5 chocolate drops

Gimme some chocolate!

Friday, March 17, 2006

My Irish roots, my daddy

Gosh, I have such emotions today... melancholy, irony, whimsy, wistfulness. Daddy loved this day. He was proud of his Irish heritage. Though our last name was actually Welsh, both his parents were Irish, grandparents emigrating here during the potato famine. Even in feebleness, Daddy would have me pin a green shamrock on the lapel of his robe, and he would watch the St. Patrick's Day parade on TV if he could find it telecasted. He'd chide us if we deigned to leave the house without some "touch 'o green" in the wardrobe (such an unflattering color!), and even my British-roots husband would play along with honoring the Irish on this day. I'd cook some type of meat with cabbage for our supper every year, and try to decorate a cake with green frosting (some successes, tho also some failures!). Some days I just can't get Dad out of my mind... he's been dead 10 years this year...after living here with us for 13 years... and I still miss 'im. Eh, Dad, I hope ye were in heaven 10 minutes before the Devil knew ye were gone... Love, your younger daughter

Posted JDaaris @ 7:18 AM :: 8 chocolate drops

Gimme some chocolate!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

GRIPE!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRR.....

Just hafta get this off my chest.... why does my husband not take the time to pick up the danged phone and simply let me know HE'S GOING TO BE LATE LEAVING WORK????? Right now I'm so irked I just feel like throwing something.... man, where is that aggression coming from anyway? If I had a chocolate bar in the house, it would be TOAST by now! :) hrmph...

Posted JDaaris @ 3:19 PM :: 5 chocolate drops

Gimme some chocolate!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

I thought these were funny, sharing 'em wid ya

Jenn (Chihuahua Lover) gets full credit for these; thought they were well worth sharing, in case you need a smile...:

NUDITY
I was driving with my three young
children one warm summer evening when
A woman in the convertible ahead of us
stood up and waved. She was stark naked !
As I was reeling from the shock,
I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat,
"Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!

HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom
to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush
in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it
in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment,
then ran to my bathroom and came out with my
toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, '
cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.

OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed
his teacher a Note from his mother.
The note read,
"The opinions expressed by this child are
Not necessarily those of his parents."

KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup
to come out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked
her 4-year-old daughter to Answer the phone.
"It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother.
Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found
himself in the women's Locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst
into shrieks, with ladies
Grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and Then asked,
"What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

ELDERLY
While working for an organization that
delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins,
I used to take my 4-year-old daughter
on my afternoon rounds.
The various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs unfailingly intrigued her.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth
soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions,
she merely turned and whispered,
"The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

DRESS UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.
When she saw Her dad donning his tuxedo,
she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache
the next morning."

SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
"I'm just Wasting my time," she said to her mother.
"I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible.
He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
He Picked up the object and looked at it.
What ! he saw was an old leaf that had
Been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found", the boy called out."
What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
"I think it's Adam's underwear."

Posted JDaaris @ 4:07 PM :: 9 chocolate drops

Gimme some chocolate!

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Starting the weekend ~ early!

Hi all. I'm up, since 5:12 this morning, though was awake at about 4:10, I answered the call of my bladder and crawled back in bed, hoping to catch a cat nap... and that's about all I caught. Gotta shower, have made coffee and sweet tea (for supper tonight); will balance our checkbook and pay a couple of bills before starting the day in earnest. I'm not the most popular blog around, I know that; however, I wanted to let you more regular drop-ins know that I will be posting less than I am already. Since I work 9 hours in front of the computer, starting 45 minutes before work reading my e-mails and visiting my favorite sites, I spend at least 10 hours a day in front of the pooter. I want to cut back. I am working on getting my poetry, limericks and short stories organized when I launch my website, which makes it close to 11 or 12 hours a day in front of the pooter (I started writing these in the 9th grade, most of them are typed on an old manual typewriter; I will need to transfer them into the computer... yuck, copy typing!) You can only imagine the size of my rear end with all that sitting!!

Anyhoo, I'll pop in at least twice a week; I'll read and comment more often than that. I will let you know when the web site is operational, I need to be more clear on the copyrights of my writings before I put a single word on the page. I need this as a confidence booster; I've drafted a letter of inquiry to publishers about my various writings, but I've never actually sent one... I need to know they are fit for "public consumption" before I do that. A couple of friends with young children have very kindly read some of my poems to their young children to gauge reaction, and it has been favorable. However, these are FRIENDS and they are not likely to hurt my feelings about how well I do or do not write for children. :)

Posted JDaaris @ 5:35 AM :: 6 chocolate drops

Gimme some chocolate!

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Taking a turn in my life's direction...

Well, I boldly leapt and took a step in different direction this morning. I have acquired a domain name and am planning to fill the site with my children's poems and stories... I guess I'm testing the waters, so to speak, with regard to interest, and then may seriously pursue publication if nobody throws up while reading 'em... :) My concern is copyrighting my original writings, or protecting them in some way. If any of you have any insight with regard to that, or can offer advice in where I can go to learn more about protection, please let me know. I'm rather optimistically and almost child-like "pumped" this morning.

Hope all yall are having a great weekend...hubby is requesting some time consuming "real" southern fried chicken for supper tonight (after all, he didn't get any when I cooked it Tuesday... just got to smell the kitchen and had the aroma permeating the car while he was delivering it to its final destination... a source of unexpected torture).

Posted JDaaris @ 10:31 AM :: 9 chocolate drops

Gimme some chocolate!

Saturday, March 04, 2006

I like what I like, I want what I want...

I woke up "busy" this morning, if you know what I mean. I gradually awoke on my own (the best kind of waking up), and my mind was whirling, thinking, planning... I have some more reports to edit/proof for the educational book/module for the publishing company, which I've mentioned before. They will have 50 edit/proof exercises in the book... so far I've contributed 43 of them, and they may want me to contribute all 50 (seems one contributor dropped out and the stuff from the other contributor is not up to 'snuff' so to speak). I'm fine with that, though surprised. This company is nationwide, even has books out in other languages, and they can't find another source? I'm flattered... don't want to be prideful though so I'll shut up now.

I was thinking about the eclectic collection of art work, "dust catchers" and the like I have around the house and what the themes are. Cats, mostly; however, I have a watercolor in the office which shows a lone little row boat tied up to the remnants of a dock, with a couple of gulls flying about, and I love it. There's a promotional poster for Marathon, Florida in the bathroom, and I love that too. I love the whimsical wind chimes on the porch (never too many friends, flowers or hats), wish I could find another one. I have a wonderful print of three very large ladies "singing" as a trio, and the angle of their faces shows mostly their mouths. It makes me smile when I look at it. There's a little wooden plaque in the kitchen with a hen painted on it, some raffia wrapped around the wire, that says, "Bless This Nest." I have a wonderful cat in a bay window portrait in oil over where the mantel will eventually be, on the fireplace. I'm blathering about this because I need your help. When hubby and I were up in Williamsburg/Norfolk Virginia this past October, we visited a general store there which had loads of interesting items. I got a Halloween spider candy dish (and those wind chimes) while there. My daughter's cat has knocked that dish off the cupboard twice, and he is now missing part of his hat and a chunk out of his "belly." I'm going to post a picture of him. The general store in Williamsburg has no internet, so I can't contact them. I would just like to buy another dish like this... even if I have to wait until closer to Halloween. I've look on eBay (best source usually), but no luck so far. It's the kind of piece that just makes you grin to look at it. Just wish you'd let me know if you happen to see one and where.

Am I completely nuts? Don't hold back.... :)

Well, I thought I'd post the picture/pictures. The insert link isn't working...

Posted JDaaris @ 6:33 AM :: 6 chocolate drops

Gimme some chocolate!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

My friend is home

I took yesterday off to cook for my friend who is married to a pastor/missionary to India; I've known her 11 years now, she is the salt of the earth, do anything for you type and she would have cooked me a banquet without batting an eye. Me, I huffed and puffed and got tired out fixing a few things for her... I was glad to do it, but didn't get all the food made that I wanted to. I fried chicken (real southern style, dipped in buttermilk and seasoned flour), oven fried some more chicken, the put barbecue sauce on it, made fresh green beans with pork to flavor (southern style), made a pumpkin bread with cream cheese filling, some rice with peas, herbs and mushrooms, and made a huge pan of mac and cheese (four pounds of cheese). I wanted to make some whole wheat yeast rolls and cookies as well, but I got too tired/fatigued after standing over that stove frying the chicken... I was a puddle of exhaustion, there was nothing left. I was disappointed in myself that I didn't get it all prepared; to top it all off, I was heading to bed at 4:30 yesterday afternoon, completely beat! My hubby delivered the food for me (about 1-1/2 hours round-trip in rush hour traffic)...

I got to talk to her this morning; man, it will take quite awhile to get caught up on all the news again. I may be going out there Friday afternoon for tea and cookies, and a nice long chat...

Posted JDaaris @ 6:52 PM :: 8 chocolate drops

Gimme some chocolate!

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