Cocoa Cracker

There must be something about Michigan...

2007-01-01T11:19:00.000-05:00

I have a friend who is originally from Michigan; she has lived here in Central Florida since at least 1987, when I met her. What I find most interesting is that she has many, many friends still living in Michigan about whom she refers to as dear, close friends. Is that a Michigander trait? I have a couple of coworkers who also hail from Michigan, who also have long-term friends. Now I'm wondering if I'm the only person a little off kilter here. I was born and raised right here in Central Florida, went to school with all the same people through all the years, until I was yanked out of school my senior year and moved up to Western NC for about three years. I remember names of school mates, but we have not kept in touch. In fact, when I was in school I had only one dear friend and she moved away from Central Florida before I did... I wonder if my growing up in an alcoholic, dysfunctional home impacted the lifelong friends thing (I always kept people at arms length, deathly afraid they would find out my shame, or worse yet, visit my home unannounced), or if having lifelong close friends is simply indigenous to Michigan.

I envy that soft cushion to fall back upon when one is in need of an encouraging word or a verbal embrace.

Not feeling like being hypocritical tomorrow, so

2006-12-24T16:34:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking about simply taking a drive by myself after finishing work (I volunteered to work for 2-4 hours tomorrow, might as well), hopefully before the fakery begins...maybe you know what I mean. My daughter is superficially nice to me most of the time, tho yesterday she rather lost it and reverted back to her true filthy-mouthed, temper tantrum, flouncing out of the room drama. I can't sit down and eat a meal, open presents and pretend all is hunkey-doorey, I just don't want to make the effort. I would rather drive somewhere quiet and sit by myself and reflect on better scenarios; unfortunately, tomorrow weather-wise is supposed to be wretched. Eh, my dishwasher is out for the count (2 years old, danged thing); the Sears extended warranty service can't give me an appt for fixing it until Jan 2nd (when I will not be available), and this after the technician came to the house Wed, Dec 20th and already repaired it... after waiting 13 days for that appt. It didn't complete the first wash cycle the first time we used it after he "repaired" it... you know, I can handwash the dishes, that's not the end of the world, it's just the insufferable indifference about service and the incompetence which has become the norm... gad what an awful post for Christmas Eve!

Do you need noise to make you feel...

2006-12-18T13:17:00.000-05:00

alive sometimes? I suppose that sounds completely insane, but I just came in from sitting on the front porch, in the porch swing, and got lost in the sounds of the day. I could hear the unmistakable beeping of a large truck as it warned oncoming traffic it was backing up; a couple of haunting blasts from a far away freight train, neighbors in their back yard laughing, just a couple of houses down, a squirrel trilling a warning to others about some type of perceived danger, the light brush of leaves falling against the porch roof, the drone of a low-flying single-engine plane... I enjoy these sounds, do you? I find that I needs these types of sounds, am I nuts? The porch is cluttered, but cool; it's 76 degrees right now and the sky is a blue that only God creates. You would never know Christmas is less than 10 days away, there is a dearth of decorating in the house, nary a single wrapped present waiting to be opened and inspected. We have a "real" tree up, just not decorated. Just seeing it, smelling it this morning as I got up to start work was wonderful. No matter how I feel about the holiday and the inevitable memories, I love a Christmas tree painstakingly but amateurishlyly decorated with the same ornaments year after year, with loads of lights, and scads of icicles.

How 'bout you?

Interesting opportunity, need yer thoughts

2006-12-02T11:23:00.000-05:00

Hiya all; can't believe it has been so long since I last blogged. We have gone from not very busy to mandatory OT at work; I worked Thanksgiving and didn't "perish" tho I thought I might! We actually had a pretty good meal (mostly courtesy of the local grocer/deli, sans the turkey, green bean casserole and some yeast rolls). I'm not feeling as morose as I once was... can't quite explain why, maybe too busy to be blue.

Anyhoo, I received a very intriguing invite in the mail yesterday. I immediately dismissed it out of hand, but my hubby was so excited on my behalf that I'm now rethinking it, no matter how absurd the idea. I've been invited to participate in a People to People Ambassador Program visiting China and exchanging ideas regarding healthcare documentation and data capture. My own professional organization thinks I would provide some expertise. The catch? We pay our own way.. which would be expected. However, the cost is just less than $5000 for the 12-day excursion, which includes transportation, accommodations and most meals. That's a bargain, in my opinion.

Reasons not to go: I hate to fly, and a trip that long would probably drive me batty. We don't have $5000 just hanging around waiting to be spent. I would lose income for two weeks during a period of time in the year when some heavy duty annual expenses are due (probably about $1000 lost). Oh, did I mention I hate to fly? :)

Reasons to go: Opportunity of a lifetime.

We would be in Beijing, Guilin and Shanghai.

I'd love your thoughts on this. Mainly, what would you do under the same circumstances?

Getting that "holiday thing" a bit earlier this year

2006-11-05T10:53:00.000-05:00

No matter how hard I try, I slip into some type of hermit/loner-type existence around the winter holidays. I love Halloween, I love the fall time of year, the air crisp in the morning, the particular smell of the earth as it prepares itself for winter.. yet, I can feel myself withdrawing as time marches toward Thanksgiving and Christmas. I fake the gaiety at the obligatory Christmas parties that I'm forced to attend.. or find some excuse to send my husband to them by himself. I love the hymns associated with this time in the Christian calendar and play them on my CD player when I'm by myself, but avoid the usual pageantry of the Christmas plays and dramas which are inevitably offered during this season. I've come to realize the reason I shop for Christmas all year long is because I can't bring myself to venture into the malls when the decorations come out in full swing. I detest seeing people in green and red-themed clothing and wouldn't be "caught dead" wearing the amusing seasonal jewelry in which others delight. I usually have a very "fun" and whimsical sense of humor and would be the first to don something silly at any other time of the year, yet I become almost angry during the last eight weeks of the calendar year. I can't stand decorating the Christmas tree ~ too many memories of childhood verbal abuse while doing it, I guess. Yet, I MUST have an amateurishly decorated Christmas tree during the holidays, one with lots of lights which I can gaze at for long periods of time in silence and the dark, with only the tree lit in all its child-like glory.

We recently bought a sectional, which obliterates any spare corner in our small living room. I've been agitated about the prospect of not having our decorated tree this year, to the point where we are feverishly rearranging the dining room so it can be placed in a small spot set aside in there.

I think I'm nuts, at least during this time of year. The pleasant memories of my daughter when she was young and "still believed" are not nearly as vivid as the harsh, sad memories of my own childhood.

I would like to break this cycle, I just don't know how.

Thanks for "listening."

Third time's the charm? Sharing some pics

2006-10-29T07:12:00.000-05:00

I'm having problems today with blogger

2006-10-29T05:32:00.000-05:00

I tried publishing some funny pictures yesterday, twice, and they didn't publish to my blog; yet, when I went in to delete them this morning, they were there for me to see but not share! It's not like they were X-rated pictures, they were funny pictures of animals. I seem to be having more glitches than usual here; on "the other site" as well, for that matter. I like to communicate, take the time to read others' blogs, but it is getting to be more of a hassle than a pleasure anymore. Eh, I wanted to post some musings this morning instead of gripe, but I'm tired and a little ornery, so I'll leave it at this. Take care yall... ugh, tomorrow is Monday!

I'm back from Boston and raring to live!

2006-10-21T17:52:00.000-04:00

We're back from Boston, and I'm ready to go back up dere again! Gosh, but I enjoyed the city immensely. I didn't have the stamina to do as much walking as I would have liked (am going to work on building that back up), but the city sights were amazing. The hotel was a disappointment (the only good angle was the "photo of the property" on the website, naturally!). It was right next to I-93, in an industrial area, and there was one mediocre restaurant nearby...the neighborhood was a little scary after dark, frankly. Live and learn, we'll stay closer to downtown or Cambridge when we return... and we will go back! Surprisingly, my hubby enjoyed the trip as much as I did. I'm already feeling a little nostalgic for the place, and I'm not used to New England nor a city the size of Boston. It just seemed to hustle and bustle with activity; I was attracted to that scenario like a moth to a flame. I guess I don't know myself as well as I thought. The trip itself has added a dimension to me that was lacking before we went. I can't explain it, I just feel a lot more alive having gone than I did before I went. Wonder if I've finally "lost the other oar?" ??

And..... I'm off!

2006-10-16T07:09:00.000-04:00

I've been awake on and off since about 2:00 this morning; finally caved, and got up around 4:25 (hope to snooze on the flight). I called the hotel night shift to verify our room and reservation (all set), printed a copy of our itinerary for our adult kid who is house/pet sitting, and am now working on finishing my last big cup of java (AKA, "the elixir of life"). I will not be drinking anything after finishing this last drop of nectar until getting on the flight. I detest the idea of using the airplane "facilities" and try mightily to curb my liquid intake to achieve the goal of staying in my seat for the entire flight. I was successful in that goal in August on my last flight to Boston, but, on the return flight, my bladder let me down. Unfortunately, it was packed with families (that being the downside to flying into Orlando from anywhere at anytime), and I, being in the window seat, had to beg the indulgence of the older couple who sat beside me to allow me both out and back in again. The big eeeuueeee, (Denise, I thought of you), was that I was next in line after a young child, whose hygiene and parent was lacking... even the seat was smeared... such a lovely sight 30,000 feet above the earth. Thank God for antibacterial soap. I hope never to repeat such a stellar experience.

Hurt feelings...being dropped.

2006-10-15T08:25:00.000-04:00

I visited the "other site" yesterday and today and noticed something that hurt my feelings, frankly. Two people who had me listed as a "buddy" have dropped me; one, I know, because I was talking about being a Christian. He is an interesting guy, we've traded encouraging comments back and forth, but I guess when he found out I am a Christian, he had to draw the line there... not taking into account our history and shared comments. Yet... I would be accused of being intolerant and judgmental before he would. I'm drawn to the line in Dr. Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech in which he refers to looking forward to the day his children will be playing with white children, judged not on the color of their skin but the content of their character. I don't judge others... or least I try my very best not to... I don't wish to be judged, either. It's not up to me to pass judgment on anybody. I may or may not share your views, I may or may not agree with your decisions, but that won't stop me from being supportive and liking you.

Missing piece in my life puzzle

2006-10-14T14:20:00.000-04:00

Well, I've been snookered by a "friend" for the fourth time...fool me that many times, shame on me. I've talked about this former co-worker off and on; she has an artistic soul, we have a lot in common, and I truly enjoy talking to her and hanging out with her. We had lost touch for about two years (she simply disappeared and never responded to my e-mails), got reconnected, and I thought things were going great. She lives about 80 miles from me now, we made plans to hook up somewhere halfway between us for a Saturday lunch and gab fest.. then suddenly, she quits answering my e-mails again. She promised she would not ever do that to me again this past time we hooked up..vowed it was never anything I "did" but more something in her (I agree with that). She owes me a considerable amount of money... which I've not brought up...no point in it, she knows she owes and that's not why I would like to be friends with her anyway (to lull her into paying me back; she needs to pay me back, that moolah would come in handy.. but again, that's not my motive). I need a friend, a true, blue, nonjudgmental, sympathetic friend. I don't make friends easily, and I haven't had a really close friend in quite some time. I do have a lovely, wonderful Christian friend with whom I'm very close, but she's in full-time ministry and we just don't have the opportunity to chat and be close... she's out of the country 6 months each year, halfway around the world; last thing I want to do is intrude on her.

Anyway, sadly, I'm back to square one. How in the world can I really go out and find a friend? I'm not talking "work" friends (we all work at home anyway... and see each other only four times a year), I'm talking soul sister, confidante, loyal, funny, "there for you" friend... I can offer that to somebody, I just don't know how to find that missing piece in my life puzzle... ~ Anna

Just some funny pics to start the week off right

2006-09-24T18:40:00.000-04:00

Hi yall ~ I saved some funny pics to post, which I thought might set the mood "just right" for our work week upcoming. Take care of yourselves, my friends. ~ JDee (Anna)

Truly pathetic...

2006-09-02T05:06:00.000-04:00

to wake up on the Saturday of a three-day weekend at 3:00 a.m... truly more pathetic to actually get up at 3:30... and the icing on the cake is coming immediately into the office after the morning toilette and coffee making to turn on the pooter and check my e-mails, finally catch up on bloggers... is that a life? The cats are peeved with me; I tend to parcel out little snacks of food in their individual dishes, which I've done twice in the past 1-1/2 hours I've been up, and decided they do not need a third helping right now. If looks killed....

Anyhoo, I decided it was better to get up than to toss and turn trying to force myself back to sleep. I rise so early during the work week anyway, that I fell asleep in front of the TV Friday evening just before 7:00... a deep, dreaming sleep... don't remember the dream, just remember it was pleasant. We tried the new "lasagna" pizza from Pizza Hut last night (tradition for us to have pizza on Friday). Don't bother, it was nasty. I think I'd be better off making my own pizza, certainly would be cheaper. Maybe I can make some dough ahead of time and freeze it.. ??

I'm awaiting the hint of dawn to emerge so I can venture onto the porch and watch the interesting shadows which fade into a morning of promise.

Have a wonderful weekend.

I apologize..and a cupla udder things

2006-08-24T06:44:00.000-04:00

Hey all. Tried to post yesterday, the danged page wouldn't load, looked funky, couldn't read anything on my blog because the background was so dark, so I gave up.

Anyhoo, to Jackie Sue, Denise and Lauren: I "ain't" mailed out that sock thingy yet.. I need to make 12 copies of the original letter and I just haven't been anywhere where I can do that; if I am at Staples or Office Depot, I don't have the letter with me.. (you know how it goes).. If I don't get that done within the next two weeks, then I'm just not gonna. Thanks for volunteering to be part of this, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long...

Secondly, I wonder if part of aging is becoming obsessed with your bowel habits? Shano/Apos, you have an opinion on this, or is it uniquely an "American" quirk? Working in the medical industry, it just becomes apparent that so many old folks are fixated on a daily BM and take "laxatives" or "physics" to help the process along... gotta luv 'em anyway, doncha?

Dancing fuzz under the lamp shade

2006-08-19T07:49:00.000-04:00

OK, I've been watching this same delicate, gossamer-like piece of fuzz dancing under the lampshade for perhaps the last 45 minutes. Oh, I don't mean I'm mesmerized by it and staring it down for the past 3/4 hour, but it stays within my peripheral vision as I sit in front of the computer monitor doing whatever it is I do (can somebody help me out in that regard? I'm just not sure what that is!)... anyhoo, the ceiling fan seems to be providing the breeze which catches this particular piece of fuzz and provides the variety of movements. I think it is caught in a very, very fine cobweb which has apparently been spun sometime between yesterday afternoon and this morning. I don't spy culprit web spinner anywhere, tho. Guess that pretty much sums up my morning so far... and this could be considered "confessions" of a housekeeping-challenged soul. Eh, off to grind the coffee beans, just got caught up in the delights of minutiae all around me this morning.

Am I loony?

2006-08-18T04:04:00.000-04:00

Sometimes my hubby surprises me with his "wisdom" ~ or perhaps insight is a better choice of word. I told him I wasn't sure I was "happy" per se, but I couldn't put my finger on why. I don't mean that I'm unhappy.. just a little unsettled, or disjointed. There is a pattern and a sameness to my days which I find tiresome; however, I'm also locked into that pattern because it's easy and doesn't take any effort to maintain; I can live this way on auto-pilot, if you know what I mean. I seem to be drifting along, allowing circumstances to push me here and there, rather like a rowboat which has become untied from its moorings and goes wherever the waves and wind take it. Pete (hubby) told me that I need to set some a goal or goals for myself, then do what it takes to achieve the goal. I thought he was babbling at first, but I pondered on this sliver of advice and decided he might be right. I have a couple of goals, which no longer seem as unobtainable as they once did... I want to be appointed to serve on a very specific board (which is a governor-appointed position), and I want to write and publish either short stories (for children) in a book or for a magazine. Naturally, I don't know the governor, but I am getting to know some of the local politicians and am awaiting an appointment to a very low profile, not so interesting county advisory board.. which I think may give me the experience and "resume" to achieve my real goal... down the road.

I woke up optimistic this morning.

Am I a complete loon?

Breaking news! New Act in Congress!!

2006-08-12T14:48:00.000-04:00

Subject: AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT

This just in:

NEW LAW COMING FROM CONGRESS -- AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT

WASHINGTON, DC: Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which
provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act
(AWNAA) This act is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and
drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,"
said Barbara Boxer (D, California). "We can no longer stand by and allow people of inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."

The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which
has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.
Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against
the inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%),and home
improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has a great record of
hiring Persons of Inability (63%).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle
man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little
real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees.
The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult
to discriminate against the nonabled, banning discriminatory interview
questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have
any skills or experience which relate to this job?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have
something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a
lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job
skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of
this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a
light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Ted Kennedy, (D, Massachusetts) "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."

!!! :) Apos, I guess this could work Down Under as well, eh?

Quotable quotes for your reading pleasure

2006-08-11T06:02:00.000-04:00

Got these in a recent e-mail; thought they were funny and thoughtful, decided to share 'em until I can actually get back to here and bring yall up to date... like it or not! :)

"I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"
--Richard Jeni

"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators
would be dead."
--Johnny Carson

"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
Paul Rodriguez (so true!!)

"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty
and that's the law."
--Jerry Seinfeld

"Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire
you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to
tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson

"Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
--Oscar Wilde

"Suppose you were an idiot .. And suppose you were a member of
Congress... But I repeat myself."
--Mark Twain

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At
least they can find Afghanistan."
--A. Whitney Brown

I love this pic

2006-08-10T18:29:00.000-04:00

Sharing a neat pic I got in the e-mail, entitled "friends.."

Pretty much sez it all for this cat lover. I'll write more later... loved Boston, LOVED THAT CITY... :)

Oddball cravings... no, I'm not preggers

2006-07-27T10:24:00.000-04:00

It's 9:30 in the morning and I'm craving cashew chicken with veggie fried rice from the local Chinese joint.... what gives? :)

What would you do???

2006-07-21T03:13:00.000-04:00

Here's the deal...

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop-off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
If you do not know, see answer below.

Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!

Can you believe "they walk among us?"

2006-07-14T06:07:00.000-04:00

Got this in an e-mail, hadda share; I know it will appeal to yall :).. my fave is the airline luggage...

Subject: They walk among Us

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.
Caution... They Walk Among Us!

====================
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted...."Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said..."where???" They Walk among us!!
====================

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." They Walk Among Us!!

====================

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . . They Walk Among Us!!!

====================

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". They Walk Among Us!!!!

====================

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk... They Walk Among Us!!!!!

====================

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10 % and gave us a 20% discount.... They Walk Among Us!!!!!!

====================

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained t hat a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!

====================

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"... They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!

====================

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

They walk among us, AND reproduce!

Sock hop, you in?

2006-07-06T08:19:00.000-04:00

Hi all. This will be brief...

I got a "sock hop" letter from my sister yesterday.. sounds like fun to me, but then I realized I don't have six friends.. pathetic, eh? Anyway, this is the deal. I mail a pair of funky socks to the top name and address on the letter sent to me, then add my name and address at the bottom. I send out six of these letters. At some point, I will end up with 36 pairs of socks from goodness knows where... I like to wear funky, funny socks with my sneaks, and this sounds like a hoot to me. Anybody on here want to be included? You'll hafta e-mail me or we'll hafta figure out a way to communicate with one another. Lemme know by Friday afternoon.

I can't believe I don't even have six friends... that was probably a realization I didn't need to know.

It's hard to make a comeback...

2006-06-30T09:07:00.000-04:00

when you haven't been anywhere! Does anybody else think that's as funny as I do? I got an e-mail from a "bud" 'o mine who sent me a bunch of restroom signs, but this, "it's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere" was actually written in the grime on the back of a city bus... I had to share because I thought it was funny... what clever "graffittiphiles" we have around, eh? I also liked this particular restroom sign in a ladies restroom in Texas, "if it has tires or testicles, it's gonna cause problems." Feeling 'awfully glad' that it's Friday and wishing I had asked for Monday off to make a 4-day weekend... but we have a skeleton crew working, so I don't dare ask for it off now... :( I'll be back on sometime this weekend, just felt like posting this!

Feeling disconnected

2006-06-26T16:09:00.000-04:00

OK, so I'm feeling disconnected... I'm beginning to wonder if I'm living in reality or if reality is closer to "Judging Amy" than how I live... I'm watching Judging Amy reruns now for about the fourth or fifth cycle; it's on every day down here from noon to 2:00, two back-to-back episodes, and it has retraced from the first episode to the last episode at least thrice now, and I believe this is the fourth time round. I never watched the show when it was current, I only discovered it in reruns. The Gray family is a lot more liberal and educated than my family... they reach out, have friends over for dinner pretty regularly, have the erudite and judicious answer to everything, everybody wants to be part of their family, and they eat supper late, like 7:30 or 8:00 it seems!

I realize this is sounding a lot disjointed... but that is so different from anything close to how I've lived. We were secretive and self-contained as a family growing up... I mean, how open does anybody want to be when the parents are both drunks? Nobody was allowed inside the house unless they had been invited (which almost never happened, even during holidays). We ate early, never as a family... I subsided on more pork 'n bean sammidges with mayo than I care to remember, doing my homework without nagging, bathing and caring for my personal needs at far too young an age, gingerly threading my way to my bedroom around broken glass, spilled or thrown food, and perhaps a passed out parent, depending on how far up the stairs they managed to get before passing out....

I look at these shows and wonder if anybody grew up like that, in a nucleus family where love and acceptance was the norm.

Funny, as an adult, my nucleus family still seems to wall itself off somewhat. Why is that? I like people, but I don't particularly want them around...I detest people "dropping by" or "dropping in" unannounced and would just as soon scurry to the back of the house and feign a nap than to invite somebody in. Is there a kernel of normalcy in my behavior or am I completely off the deep end?

I smelled the earth this morning

2006-06-20T06:15:00.000-04:00

This will be brief... just hadda share this. I went out onto the porch this morning, 6:00 ayam, and could smell the earth... that's a rare occurrence here in Florida, reminded me of early summer in North Carolina where the sweet smell of the earth is fragrant every time you step outside. It simply flooded me with pleasant memories of summers in NC, staying with my beloved grandmother. Happy way to start the day.

Who am I, and what am I doing here?

2006-06-17T17:28:00.000-04:00

I've reached the point today where I realized that I'm being buffeted, pushed, pulled, tugged, shoved, bounced in several directions, none of which I wish to go... do you know what I mean?

A few of months ago I enjoyed reading, taking a walk now and again, blogging, writing.... none of which I'm doing. I've taken on projects, either work related or related to my profession; I'm working off the clock to get some things done at work, because I'm either being contacted after hours, or I have to do additional research (on my own time) to do that which is required. I'm probably not saying this very well... but somehow or other I feel that things, others, are all dictating my very existence. I've sat in front of the computer today, doing a project (for which I'm being paid), which I HATE. It's research... trying to "clean up" a current book in print which had no business being printed in the first place, and I'm finding that the corrections I'm having to make are all because the book wasn't done well to begin with (a reference book which is used heavily in my profession)... I spent 4 hours Thursday on it and didn't make much progress; more than 6 hours today, and based on that time frame, I will need to spend another 130 hours on it to get it "up to speed"... they want this "rough draft" completed by July 5th. Well, it's just not possible, and I came to realize that today. I needed to get a haircut, wanted to go to the library (though I'm not reading, so I don't know why) and perhaps see the outside of the house, but I didn't. I spent most of the danged day here in this office, either preparing to work on this project, or working on this project...

I sent 'em an "I quit" e-mail, and feel GUILTY AS HE-- because I could have made about $2500 (not until the project would be officially completed, end of February 2007). I can't afford to blow off that kind of money... so what do I do now? I just hope I haven't ruined my reputation with this particular company; I've done 2 other projects for them, and am getting ready to start a 3rd (which would have overlapped this one I hated); those projects I loved doing.... if I've ruined my reputation with 'em I just don't know what I'm going to do...

thanks for listening, I know I'm rambling... and feeling exceedingly sorry for myself and peeved with myself as well.

For your reading pleasure

2006-06-15T08:27:00.000-04:00

This is not original, but it certainly is clever; thought I would share it with yall. Perhaps this weekend I'll actually post an original thought! :)

FOR LOVERS OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before
Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts; in feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - It t'aint yours and it t'aint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
A midget fortuneteller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done

It ain't all about theme parks 'round here

2006-06-13T15:47:00.000-04:00

Wish I could take credit for this clever piece...somebody e-mailed it to me, and I'm sharing it wid yall. More truth than fiction! :)

TO: Ex Floridians, present Floridians, future Floridans or those who know a Floridian

We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico and making two basic meteorological points:

(1) There is no need to panic.
(2) We could all be killed.

Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one.''

Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:

STEP 1. Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.

STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car.

STEP 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Thanksgiving.

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Florida.

We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:

HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance.

Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements:

(1) It is reasonably well-built, and
(2) It is located in Nebraska.

Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place.

So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss.

Since Hurricane Andrew, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies. This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.

SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:

Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.

Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.

Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.

"Hurricane-proof'' windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so.
He lives in Nebraska.

"Hurricane Proofing Your Property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc.; you should, as a precaution, throw
these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.

EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Florida" you live in a low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM.

In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:

23 flashlights. At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes out, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.

Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what The bleach is for. But it's traditional, so GET some!)

A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant.

A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)

A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)

$35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers
stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.

Good luck and remember: it's great living in paradise! Those of you who aren't here yet you should come. Really!

Absurd/funny news... if ya need a laff

2006-06-09T12:29:00.000-04:00

Hi all. The local NBC affiliate runs a section in their news called "irresistible headlines" and the stories behind 'em. Two of them caught my fancy today. I thought I'd share them with you. I'll be back tomorrow (Sat) and spend some time catching up with yall. ~ Anna

WEST MILFORD, N.J. -- At least one bear doesn't want to know Jack. Jack is a 10-year-old orange-and-white tabby in West Milford, N.J. And when the cat spotted the bear in a neighbor's yard earlier this week, the clawless kitty let the bear know who's boss.

The bear scurried up a tree and eyed the cat for 10 to 15 minutes, while Jack stared and hissed from the ground. The bruin inched its way down before jumping off and running away.
But Jack chased the bear into the brush and up another tree.
That's when Jack's owner realized what was happening and called her cat. The bear took off as Jack rubbed up against its owner and the neighbors.

Jack's owner, Donna Dickey, told The Star-Ledger of Newark Jack considers the area his turf and doesn't want anyone in his yard.

-----------------------

TAMPA, Fla. -- A federal judge, miffed at the inability of opposing attorneys to agree on even the slightest details of a lawsuit, ordered them to settle their latest dispute with a game of "rock, paper, scissors."

The argument was over a location to take the sworn statement of a witness in an insurance lawsuit.

In an order signed Tuesday, U.S. District Judge Gregory Presnell scolded both sides and ordered them to meet at a neutral location at 4 p.m. June 30 to play a round of the hand-gesture game often used to settle childhood disputes. If they can't agree on the neutral location, he said, they'll play on the steps of the federal courthouse.

The winner gets to choose the location for the witness statement.

Have you heard about this?

2006-05-30T17:35:00.000-04:00

I just had to share this with you as I was laughing so hard all I could do is squeak... in the Yahoo news, seems some guy "invented" the "cordless jump rope"... it's just a couple of handles you hold in your hands as you "jump" the imaginary jump rope... he's billing it as "jump rope for the clumsy.." and even got a patent for his invention. Have you ever heard of anything so danged funny? !! And it made the news.... !! Hope you needed to grin today. :)

My daughter spit on me last night

2006-05-28T07:53:00.000-04:00

Well, this weekend is going about as peachy as last weekend. As a kid, I hated the weekends (parents were drunks, the weekends were nightmares of verbal and physical abuse, as well as being deliberately locked out of the house, foraging for food [i.e., the pork n bean sandwich], and stepping over passed out folks in random locations throughout the house, the landing of the stairs being a particular favorite, me trying mightily to scoot briskly by before a drunken hand grabbed my skinny ankle to deliver some more drunken justice)... anyway, my adult daughter, who has lived here for far too long, didn't like something I did last night (I would not allow her on the computer to get on the internet), so she spit on me ~ and the dog ~ who got a nice load of spittle down his back. I was already at war all day with my husband, who recklessly spent almost everything we have in the bank, not taking into account groceries and gas still need to be bought, to last until Thursday. I'm wondering if I have to get a third job to keep us afloat, and why in the world my child felt she could unload a mouthful of saliva in my direction.

She took a verbal pot shot at me when leaving the room... very coarse, very gutter language, then blames me for her being an alcoholic, since my parents were.

Hello? I know what an alcoholic looks like, she ain't one. She is the kind of person who simply has to have some type of social malady in order to fit in with her friends... alkies would rather drink than eat, she eats plenty. Alkies have a certain aroma which is unmistakable, she doesn't.

I can't live like this. I'm not sure what the answer is... I find myself turning away from the Lord rather than toward Him, which is a shortcoming I have...

Thanks for letting me vent.

Whole lot of nuttin

2006-05-27T07:27:00.000-04:00

This is just going to be a whole lot of nuttin. It's a bit more than a week from my birfday; I'm still harboring some hurt there, but I know I need to let that go.

The job I interviewed for has been eliminated, due to budget cuts. Talk about not needing to make a decision! I'm spectacularly glad about it; I think I applied for all the wrong reasons (job protection from a shark in the office), and yet have managed to remain not only unscathed but climbed up a notch or two in the eyes of my dept manager (which is all that counts, bottom line). I'm still able to work my preferred hours, and able to do some of the "educator's role" without the hassles. God answered my prayers about this in a way I would have never imagined. He always does that, I just don't know why I end up worrying. Someday maybe I'll break that bad habit.

Also, I have reconnected with an old pal of mine. She has wounded me severely in the past; she's had some emotional trauma which has ricocheted in my direction, through no fault of my own, and I honestly thought we would never reconnect. She lives a few towns over now, is happily married (her 4th or 5th marriage I think), and we are baby stepping back into our "pal ship" through long e-mails. I don't tend to connect with a lot of people. I have an artistic side which I suppress a lot (it may be self satisfying, but it "don't pay" the bills), and only a few people realize that I am a very different person outside the work environment. I think my own personal demons squash attempts at friendships as well. Anyway, I'm optimistic about this reconnection. Hubby is cautious, as he has seen me wounded by this gal many times and doesn't want to see it again. I think I'm being emotionally cautious, but I don't really know.

So, how's it going with yall?

Fer a laff

2006-05-24T16:26:00.000-04:00

WORLDS SHORTEST FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy "Will you marry me?"

The guy said, "No"

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, stayed skinny and belched whenever she wanted.

The End.

Those danged sand fleas

2006-05-18T11:20:00.000-04:00

Hi all. I'm in Daytona Beach, have been here on "vacation" since Sunday. This has been a collosally "bad" vacation. We are staying in a condo/resort that is new to us (our fave place for the past 10 years almost tripled their price, I just didn't feel it was worth it); and the place is inhabited by creatures. I've seen moths (no biggie), a tadpole (how did it get up to the fifth floor?), but mostly I've been bitten by invisible flea, nits, or something which are inhabiting the recliner in the livingroom. The place is genteel seedy, if you know what I mean. First glance makes you think it is quite nice, but the more you delve into the furnishings, using the facilities, etc., the more obvious it becomes that it is past its heyday. I have red welts on the back of my neck, in the creases behind my knees, over my elbows, and around my ankles where invisible beasties have feasted on me. My husband suspected the recliner; he ended up putting a clean sheet over the entire chair (like a shroud, which I found morbidly amusing); the beasts apparently can't chew through the cloth, and I'm not getting any new welts.

We've decided to leave early. Tomorrow (Friday) is my birfday and I just would rather be home, enjoying the Punk dog and the familiarity of my own home, warts and all (however, sans biting critters). We've paid through until Saturday, there is no hope of getting a refund, but I do plan to at least tell the management team they need to thoroughly vacuum that offensive chair so the next guests will not be eaten alive.

It's really too cool here to sun bathe much, to boot. A fizzled week at the beach .

Later yall.

Well, it's not fer me

2006-05-10T02:32:00.000-04:00

Hi all. Went on that job interview yesterday...the management position in our department. Came out of the interview feeling "bad" about myself and believing with all my heart that they don't want me for the position. I don't want the job; probably never was more than half-hearted about it, but after the portrayal of what it would actually be (not as it has been described all this time), I simply don't want it. I would not be transcribing AT ALL, I would only be monitoring and correcting others' transcription. How can an "educator" educate without doing some of the transcription herself? The skills, speed, and familiarity with terms will rust. Eh, I think they know who they want or they have a particular type in mind, and it ain't me. They had to be polite and allow me the interview.

My hubby says to wait until they offer it and then turn it down. I'm not coy enuff for that, besides I think since I know I don't want it, the only honest thing to do is to ask them to remove my name from the candidacy list. I'm maneuvering in a very unfamiliar mind field right now, especially when it comes to corporate correctness... I would appreciate advice from yall who know about this stuff better than I.

Ah...vacation at the beach next week! :)

Sharin' some fluff

2006-05-04T08:09:00.000-04:00

Hi all ~ thought I'd share these wid ya... :)

Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women:

Pregnancy Q & A & more:

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving? Call 1-800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8. You can't believe the A/C thermostat doesn't go below 55.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:

10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand :
1. OTHER WOMEN

Me, tagged? ha

2006-04-28T16:26:00.000-04:00

I have no weirdness... quirks, eccentricities, perhaps...but no weirdness.

1) I'm learning to play the oboe.. (baby steps, baby steps)
2) I have an antique hutch full of snack sets or toast and tea sets...none of which I have used; can't figure out why I frantically collected them from e-bay.
3) I have to have books on shelves in every room; I can't bear to part with my books, hence we are hemorrhaging books from years and years and years; can't find anymore places to put them.
4) I'm crazy about Avon's "Dream Life" powder; a most distinctive and wonderful scent.
5) I "have to" drink coffee during working hours from a Sandra Boynton hippo mug, either "Dance is Everything" or the other mug she designed with hippos in tutus...however, I will not drink from either when I'm not working...
6) I'm an "Exalted Queen Mother" in a local chapter of Red Hat ladies.

I tag:

First Lady Laura Bush
Robin Williams
Tyra Banks
Annie Potts
Sneezy the Dwarf
Big Foot.

:)

Faded negatives and old papers..

2006-04-28T10:21:00.000-04:00

are sitting on the porch right now, having resided in a forgotten corner of the family room. Funny how pieces of my father's, mother's, grandparents' lives are reduced to old letters and documents in a cardboard "drawer" on the porch..beckoning me to probe into the past, repelling me as well with interspersed photographs of people I never knew. The public face of my mother became less and less familiar to me as she aged and slipped into a perpetual state of partial inebriation. Her photographs almost strike me as being those of a stranger; I even found an early photo of me, probably in my early 20s, and wondered if I actually was ever that person, or just cleverly disguised as the gal smiling with her parents. The pictures don't seem real to me. I don't seem real to me either, sometimes.

The porch discoveries have ignited an urge in me to trace my family roots. I'll never have the opportunity to know the people who begat the woman my mother became...I'll never know what was done to her which made her the venomous person she became... but I know in my bones something or someone influenced her to spiral down... I just think this is something I must do; I don't know why, but perhaps I will know someday.

Thanks for "listening" ~ I'm just trying to gather my thoughts into a cogency which I don't think I managed to do... :)

More job change blatherings

2006-04-22T07:46:00.000-04:00

Hi all. Apos, this is the job that has been vacant since September, when the gal who had it (and who made my life miserable with her incredible stupidity and stubbornness) stepped down. I have had twinges of applying for it off and on, but nothing as strong as I have been feeling lately. I don't have any particular desire to be on the "management team" per se, because of the politics involved, but I have this restlessness about me...some days I wake up and literally despise the idea of getting up to work... do yall go through that? My husband has worked at Disney since 1983; he enjoys his job, it satisfies him and sometimes challenges him, he does not know what it is like to get up with the idea of despising to go to work... I don't know that I'll take the job if it is offered, as I've said; I don't know that it will be offered, but since I have more qualifications than the gal who had it previously, I suspect it will be. It can't come down to money... or can it? The idea of wearing dress code every day (black slacks, black shoes, and a gosh-awful all-cotton oxford shirt in blue which makes me look like I work in the service area of the local garage... "ya want an oil change with that tire rotation?" ...) disgusts me, but then again.... maybe this is an opportunity...

Anyway, I will go with the feeling of peace to accept, or if there is a feeling of foreboding, I will decline.

Sorry to keep going at this subject... the danged interview isn't until Tuesday, May 9th... I could get hit by a bus before that... :)

Update: Yes, I can always return to my current staff position, thanks for asking Leo 'n Lisa. We both have 90 days to decide if we like each other, but I can always step down... makes it easier to take the plunge, if even for a coupla months.

Stymied

2006-04-20T09:53:00.000-04:00

I've been "busy" but not, ya know. I think I've been prohibitively introspective, unsettled, mentally restless and physically lethargic. I haven't felt like blogging, honestly. I applied for a spot on the management team in our department. I've been thinking about it, so I put in a transfer; I have to go through a long drawn out interview process, update my resume (I've been at this hospital 18 years, for crying out loud!), blah, blah, blah. I know I'd like the job, the biggest factor is relocating my physical self (inside the hospital rather than at home), as well as shifting my hours (starting and ending later), and LESS MONEY. I don't know if the fact that the job interests me is enough to simply overwhelm through the negatives or not...I've decided if it is offered, and I have a feeling of peace about making the change, then I probably will take it. Otherwise, nothing lost but some time and a new pair of shoes.... :)

Three movies I recommend

2006-04-09T15:37:00.000-04:00

Please, please see if you can rent these and watch 'em. Very different scenarios, very good movies in their own right:

"Decoration Day"(James Garner, Morgan Fairchild), Hallmark
"What the Deaf Man Heard" (Tom something or other), Hallmark
"Crazy From the Heart" (Two people you'll recognize, I've forgotten their names), not Hallmark.

I'll be very curious if you like them as much as I; smaltzy, but in a good way...

Damaged goods

2006-04-09T08:36:00.000-04:00

It seems like I slept for 10 hours between a nap yesterday afternoon and going to bed at 9:30 last night; I feel pretty rested, thankfully. I was lying awake, debating about whether or not I should get up (you know that hesitancy you feel on a day off), and started ruminating about teenage angst.

I didn't have the same type of angst most teens feel; I pretty much left home at 15, working as a car hop at Whataburger and going to high school, living with an older single mother coworker from Whataburger and trying survive to adulthood, basically.

I hear, watch TV. and read about the intensity of high school, the pressure to fit in, be in the right social clubs, go to the right parties, have the right accessories (cell phone, laptop), and I just want to SCREAM to these intense, vulnerable kids that IT DOESN'T MATTER. I don't know a living soul today from high school. I could probably pass a fellow graduate on the street and not recognize him/her. I do know that some friendships last much longer ~ a lifetime ~ but those are the exception, not the norm. My daughter was always so easily influenced by what others said, thought, did...I think she probably stuck to some of her core values for the most part, but I never was successful in trying to convince her that what other people think doesn't matter.

I couldn't forge friendships.. I couldn't have kids over, and I didn't encourage anybody to call me on the phone. I never knew what I would find when I entered the house in the afternoon, even from elementary school; mom might be nice drunk, mom might be mean drunk, or mom might be passed out completely. I remember vividly one Saturday afternoon, I was 15 and still at home. I spent the entire day with a guy I admired a lot, who surprisingly apparently liked me as well; we had gone to a movie, visited the park downtown, walked, and talked about everything. It was a real connection, and a memorable day. He walked me to the door of our home. I didn't invite him in, came up with some excuse by rote, but watched him from the livingroom window as he walked down the street. The house was eerily quiet, except for some dripping water. I headed toward the kitchen to investigate. I found mom passed out in a chair at the kitchen table, her face in a plate of food; she stunk. I didn't have to get too close to see that she had defecated and urinated on herself, the urine dripping from the ends of her soaked and soiled nylon nightie.

Almost 40 years later, I can see her; thankfully, I can no longer smell her.

I wonder if I failed as a mother because of my own inability to be empathetic to my daughter's seemingly unimportant high school skirmishes and relationship crises? Have I, as damaged goods, begat another generation of damaged goods?

Stuff 'n nonsense

2006-04-07T12:40:00.000-04:00

Got these e-mailed to me; somebody tells me they're not true, just urban legend, but I get a shudder outta reading 'em anyway... I particularly like "honorable mention.." :)

Darwin Awards:

* In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

* A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.

* Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

* Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

HONORABLE MENTION:

* Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP:

* TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.

Some serious spring fever...

2006-04-05T06:15:00.000-04:00

Yep, I'm suffering from serious spring fever (Apos, guess it's about fall for you, ain't it?)... I'm off today, to attend a County Mayor Avian Flu Summit... dunno exactly why I was invited, it's not like I'm anybody or anything; I think they are behind the times in that I had to resign from the county advisory board I had been appointed to; the meetings were multiple and all in the morning, I just couldn't ask my job to work around as many schedule changes as they wanted, and all the meetings were "mandatory." No wonder they currently have five openings on that board alone.... anyhoo, at least it's a change of pace for me, I'll be doing something out of the ordinary, and I'm not sitting in front of a computer listening to some doctor drone on and on in my ear! :) I'm thinking about doing something completely "delicious" and out of the ordinary for myself after the summit. I'll be in a very different part of the county for me, perhaps I'll do a little shopping, nyuck, nyuck... get that checkbook smoking! Happy mid week yall.

Waaaaaay too funny...wayyyy too true!

2006-03-31T09:49:00.000-05:00

60's music updated:

It was fun being a baby boomer....until now. Some of the artists of the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include:

1. Herman's Hermits--- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.

2. The Bee Gees--- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.

3. Bobby Darin--- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.

4. Ringo Starr--- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.

5. Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.

6. Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now.

7. Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

8. The Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.

9. Marvin Gaye--- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.

10. Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair.

11. Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.

12. The Temptations--- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.

13. Abba--- Denture Queen.

14. Tony Orlando--- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.

15. Helen Reddy--- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.

16. Willie Nelson--- On the Commode Again

17. Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure and I'll Cry If I Want To.

I particularly like #13 :)

Been an interesting/busy week

2006-03-26T08:14:00.000-05:00

Hi all, I'll try to keep this brief and interesting. At the beginning of the week I had a private conversation with my immediate boss at work; she told me that she is thinking about leaving, or stepping down. That wasn't really shocking to me, but it would be a bad thing for our dept, me especially. Another coworker is salivating for the job; she would be lousy at it. She has no people skills, doesn't like anybody who might challenge her (she thinks she is always right), and can be personally nasty and sarcastic. Just the kind of person I want approving my time off slips, if you know what I mean.... I could apply for the job as well, and might give this other gal a run for her money, but I DON'T WANT THE JOB. I would rather work at home, at the hours I currently work, and pursue my other creative outlets. I would end up applying for the job only to prevent the "nasty one" from getting it... which is a lousy reason. Not only that, the pay is less than what I make as an hourly employee. I stewed about that situation this week, for about two days, then got word that she's putting off doing anything regarding her decision for at least a couple more months... I know this sounds naive to most, but I'm trusting in the Lord to protect my job and to protect me from the nasty one. I'm just going to try to be the best employee I can be, as helpful as I can be, and trust that all will work out in the end. Stewing over the situation won't change it.

That's been my week, pretty much, except I was out sick for 1-1/2 days... lack of sleep. One night I actually got 1-1/2 hours, the following night I got 3 hours. I just can't do my job without being alert!

My Irish roots, my daddy

2006-03-17T07:18:00.000-05:00

Gosh, I have such emotions today... melancholy, irony, whimsy, wistfulness. Daddy loved this day. He was proud of his Irish heritage. Though our last name was actually Welsh, both his parents were Irish, grandparents emigrating here during the potato famine. Even in feebleness, Daddy would have me pin a green shamrock on the lapel of his robe, and he would watch the St. Patrick's Day parade on TV if he could find it telecasted. He'd chide us if we deigned to leave the house without some "touch 'o green" in the wardrobe (such an unflattering color!), and even my British-roots husband would play along with honoring the Irish on this day. I'd cook some type of meat with cabbage for our supper every year, and try to decorate a cake with green frosting (some successes, tho also some failures!). Some days I just can't get Dad out of my mind... he's been dead 10 years this year...after living here with us for 13 years... and I still miss 'im. Eh, Dad, I hope ye were in heaven 10 minutes before the Devil knew ye were gone... Love, your younger daughter

GRIPE!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRR.....

2006-03-16T15:19:00.000-05:00

Just hafta get this off my chest.... why does my husband not take the time to pick up the danged phone and simply let me know HE'S GOING TO BE LATE LEAVING WORK????? Right now I'm so irked I just feel like throwing something.... man, where is that aggression coming from anyway? If I had a chocolate bar in the house, it would be TOAST by now! :) hrmph...

I thought these were funny, sharing 'em wid ya

2006-03-12T16:07:00.000-05:00

Jenn (Chihuahua Lover) gets full credit for these; thought they were well worth sharing, in case you need a smile...:

NUDITY
I was driving with my three young
children one warm summer evening when
A woman in the convertible ahead of us
stood up and waved. She was stark naked !
As I was reeling from the shock,
I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat,
"Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!

HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom
to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush
in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it
in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment,
then ran to my bathroom and came out with my
toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, '
cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.

OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed
his teacher a Note from his mother.
The note read,
"The opinions expressed by this child are
Not necessarily those of his parents."

KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup
to come out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked
her 4-year-old daughter to Answer the phone.
"It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother.
Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found
himself in the women's Locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst
into shrieks, with ladies
Grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and Then asked,
"What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

ELDERLY
While working for an organization that
delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins,
I used to take my 4-year-old daughter
on my afternoon rounds.
The various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs unfailingly intrigued her.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth
soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions,
she merely turned and whispered,
"The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

DRESS UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.
When she saw Her dad donning his tuxedo,
she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache
the next morning."

SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
"I'm just Wasting my time," she said to her mother.
"I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible.
He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
He Picked up the object and looked at it.
What ! he saw was an old leaf that had
Been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found", the boy called out."
What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
"I think it's Adam's underwear."

Starting the weekend ~ early!

2006-03-11T05:35:00.000-05:00

Hi all. I'm up, since 5:12 this morning, though was awake at about 4:10, I answered the call of my bladder and crawled back in bed, hoping to catch a cat nap... and that's about all I caught. Gotta shower, have made coffee and sweet tea (for supper tonight); will balance our checkbook and pay a couple of bills before starting the day in earnest. I'm not the most popular blog around, I know that; however, I wanted to let you more regular drop-ins know that I will be posting less than I am already. Since I work 9 hours in front of the computer, starting 45 minutes before work reading my e-mails and visiting my favorite sites, I spend at least 10 hours a day in front of the pooter. I want to cut back. I am working on getting my poetry, limericks and short stories organized when I launch my website, which makes it close to 11 or 12 hours a day in front of the pooter (I started writing these in the 9th grade, most of them are typed on an old manual typewriter; I will need to transfer them into the computer... yuck, copy typing!) You can only imagine the size of my rear end with all that sitting!!

Anyhoo, I'll pop in at least twice a week; I'll read and comment more often than that. I will let you know when the web site is operational, I need to be more clear on the copyrights of my writings before I put a single word on the page. I need this as a confidence booster; I've drafted a letter of inquiry to publishers about my various writings, but I've never actually sent one... I need to know they are fit for "public consumption" before I do that. A couple of friends with young children have very kindly read some of my poems to their young children to gauge reaction, and it has been favorable. However, these are FRIENDS and they are not likely to hurt my feelings about how well I do or do not write for children. :)

Taking a turn in my life's direction...

2006-03-05T10:31:00.000-05:00

Well, I boldly leapt and took a step in different direction this morning. I have acquired a domain name and am planning to fill the site with my children's poems and stories... I guess I'm testing the waters, so to speak, with regard to interest, and then may seriously pursue publication if nobody throws up while reading 'em... :) My concern is copyrighting my original writings, or protecting them in some way. If any of you have any insight with regard to that, or can offer advice in where I can go to learn more about protection, please let me know. I'm rather optimistically and almost child-like "pumped" this morning.

Hope all yall are having a great weekend...hubby is requesting some time consuming "real" southern fried chicken for supper tonight (after all, he didn't get any when I cooked it Tuesday... just got to smell the kitchen and had the aroma permeating the car while he was delivering it to its final destination... a source of unexpected torture).

I like what I like, I want what I want...

2006-03-04T06:33:00.000-05:00

I woke up "busy" this morning, if you know what I mean. I gradually awoke on my own (the best kind of waking up), and my mind was whirling, thinking, planning... I have some more reports to edit/proof for the educational book/module for the publishing company, which I've mentioned before. They will have 50 edit/proof exercises in the book... so far I've contributed 43 of them, and they may want me to contribute all 50 (seems one contributor dropped out and the stuff from the other contributor is not up to 'snuff' so to speak). I'm fine with that, though surprised. This company is nationwide, even has books out in other languages, and they can't find another source? I'm flattered... don't want to be prideful though so I'll shut up now.

I was thinking about the eclectic collection of art work, "dust catchers" and the like I have around the house and what the themes are. Cats, mostly; however, I have a watercolor in the office which shows a lone little row boat tied up to the remnants of a dock, with a couple of gulls flying about, and I love it. There's a promotional poster for Marathon, Florida in the bathroom, and I love that too. I love the whimsical wind chimes on the porch (never too many friends, flowers or hats), wish I could find another one. I have a wonderful print of three very large ladies "singing" as a trio, and the angle of their faces shows mostly their mouths. It makes me smile when I look at it. There's a little wooden plaque in the kitchen with a hen painted on it, some raffia wrapped around the wire, that says, "Bless This Nest." I have a wonderful cat in a bay window portrait in oil over where the mantel will eventually be, on the fireplace. I'm blathering about this because I need your help. When hubby and I were up in Williamsburg/Norfolk Virginia this past October, we visited a general store there which had loads of interesting items. I got a Halloween spider candy dish (and those wind chimes) while there. My daughter's cat has knocked that dish off the cupboard twice, and he is now missing part of his hat and a chunk out of his "belly." I'm going to post a picture of him. The general store in Williamsburg has no internet, so I can't contact them. I would just like to buy another dish like this... even if I have to wait until closer to Halloween. I've look on eBay (best source usually), but no luck so far. It's the kind of piece that just makes you grin to look at it. Just wish you'd let me know if you happen to see one and where.

Am I completely nuts? Don't hold back.... :)

Well, I thought I'd post the picture/pictures. The insert link isn't working...

My friend is home

2006-03-01T18:52:00.000-05:00

I took yesterday off to cook for my friend who is married to a pastor/missionary to India; I've known her 11 years now, she is the salt of the earth, do anything for you type and she would have cooked me a banquet without batting an eye. Me, I huffed and puffed and got tired out fixing a few things for her... I was glad to do it, but didn't get all the food made that I wanted to. I fried chicken (real southern style, dipped in buttermilk and seasoned flour), oven fried some more chicken, the put barbecue sauce on it, made fresh green beans with pork to flavor (southern style), made a pumpkin bread with cream cheese filling, some rice with peas, herbs and mushrooms, and made a huge pan of mac and cheese (four pounds of cheese). I wanted to make some whole wheat yeast rolls and cookies as well, but I got too tired/fatigued after standing over that stove frying the chicken... I was a puddle of exhaustion, there was nothing left. I was disappointed in myself that I didn't get it all prepared; to top it all off, I was heading to bed at 4:30 yesterday afternoon, completely beat! My hubby delivered the food for me (about 1-1/2 hours round-trip in rush hour traffic)...

I got to talk to her this morning; man, it will take quite awhile to get caught up on all the news again. I may be going out there Friday afternoon for tea and cookies, and a nice long chat...

Clapping my hands for Denise, genius extraordinaire!

2006-02-28T10:52:00.000-05:00

Denise, a woman who is multitalented, artistic, kind hearted, a wonderful mother, a caring friend, a kind ear, and a terrific all-round soul, has designed and installed this magnificent template for me. Let's hear it for our buddy! THANKS DENISE, it is be-u-T-ful!

Back to work tomorrow...

2006-02-26T08:12:00.000-05:00

Well, actually, I've been working a little on and off; my coworkers can't be bothered to check the schedule and see if I'm off, and I've fielded calls during the week asking "work-related" questions; I haven't answered all the phone calls, just those I knew would be brief. I got a surprise e-mail from the book publisher Friday morning asking me to provide 10 more proofing/editing exercises for them, by this Tuesday! Seems one of the persons also providing these dropped out at the last minute. Luckily, being on vacation, I could do it for them (hey, for moolah, of course!). Friday wasn't going so well anyway, a little friction around here... then the AD (adult daughter), who came back Thursday night, blew up at me again; just flew off the handle because the porch screen door was locked and she couldn't get in the house... I didn't lock it, I was in the back of the house working.... talk about displaced anger....

I called her yesterday afternoon (Saturday), around 2:00ish, fully expecting to get her voice mail, just to say "I love you." I had the overwhelming urge to just tell her that... with my belief system, I feel it was the Holy Spirit moving me in that direction, to plant a seed in her heart. She answered the phone, I told her I love her, and she profusely apologized to me; I gently reminded her that she should have called me, not I her. She was afraid I wouldn't pick up the phone if she had...I may not have. Sometimes I just chose avoid hearing the excuses for her vicious verbal attacks.

Anyway, it's raining and dreary here. I'm listening to my classical music, my nature sounds music, to uplift my spirits before starting back to work. We didn't go to church this morning, hubby has been battling his asthma all week, and just didn't feel well enough to go out in the cold rain. I never go alone, not to this church; I still feel like an outcast looking in through a window in this class... wonder if that will ever change?

I appreciate your comments of support, they mean a lot to me. ~ Anna

Jumbled thoughts

2006-02-23T15:11:00.000-05:00

I've been asking myself off and on since last night, "what are tender hearted beans?" I'm old... probably nobody else remembers the Campbell's ad where they talked about their tender hearted beans. What exactly is a tender hearted bean, and how can you tell a tender hearted bean from a hard hearted bean?

What is a paw-paw? Where does one find a paw-paw patch? Apparently they are small enuff to fit in one's pocket...

I still wonder about Jimmy "cracking corn" and what in the world does that mean as well, especially since we don't care anyway...

?

Part deux, dsyfunctional family saga

2006-02-22T08:21:00.000-05:00

Well, AD (adult daughter) has been gone now since Monday morning when she left for work. She still calls, but speaks only with her father. He told me that he told her if she ever hits me again, he'll kill her. I guess that's supposed to make me feel protected, but frankly, I'd rather see her deal with her anger issues and explosive destructive eruptions than to be threatened by her father. It annoys me that she has not attempted to apologize to me, and that he is basically taking her calls and treating her normally. She obviously hasn't moved out, which is what we want; she's simply removed herself from the situation until she thinks its safe to come back and resume the same tense living arrangement we've had for more than a year now.

My husband has always catered to her, would not allow me to punish her, which is why she and I, and he and I, have the relationship we do. When she's totally out of the picture, he and I are fine. When he's totally out of the picture, she and I still don't get along; she treats and speaks to me as if I'm some type of moron. I wonder if it will ever change? Even though I've prayed and prayed about peace in my life, it hasn't come yet. I get discouraged, and I know I should still be hopeful and have faith that things will change... some days I just can't feel that way.

Thanks for listening. Kel, thanks for the info, I made a note of it, if you wish to delete your comment. ~ Anna

Lack of communication, misunderstandings..

2006-02-20T08:02:00.000-05:00

seem to have been the main item on this weekend's agenda. I jumped to some wrong conclusions regarding my husband early Saturday evening, and had a miserable Sunday because of it. We didn't speak. He's fine when that happens, but I'm not. I have a tendency to over communicate my feelings and position on things (mostly to him only, thankfully); he has apparently developed the art of not listening but appearing to, to a masterful level. I'm sometimes placed in the position of defending myself against the verbal (and sometimes physical) onslaught from my adult daughter. She never does this in front of him; she punched me in the back yesterday afternoon, called me a few horrible and choice names. Why I'm subjected to this, I don't know; why my husband doesn't take a more proactive role in defending me, I don't know. Why this is even tolerated in our own home, I don't know.

I don't feel I should have to be placed in a position of offering my side of the story, versus her side of the story, then having my husband/her father decide who is telling the truth. Reminds me of adolescent she said/she said type stuff, and I don't want any part of it.

I wonder if our communication, and him believing me, trusting me implicitly will ever be where it needs to be. I wonder if he will ever simply put his foot down and force our daughter out of our home. She's overstayed her welcome by many months now. I think the stress is slowing killing me; my heart beats very irregularly, I'm having chest pain more frequently... I guess I gotta do what I gotta do for myself, at some point.

Sorry this is so long and so whiny. Thanks for "listening."

I can't think of a title

2006-02-19T08:21:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling very melancholy and angry today... I don't want to get into it, but I believe I'm facing a major life change very soon. I decided to post some pictures of my wonderful cat, Valyum; thought maybe looking at them in this forum will enhance my mood somewhat. Love all of yall.

On the family theme...

2006-02-18T13:46:00.000-05:00

I wonder if my sister even gave daddy's birthday a passing thought? When my own daughter got up yesterday morning, she asked me how I was (the usual inquiry); I told her I was a little sad...she said quietly, "and I know why." I didn't have to remind her whose birthday it would have been...

Did my sister remember his birthday? Did she remember our mother died 26 years ago that same date? I doubt it. As you may have surmised, we're not close. She lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, with her daughter (the younger of her two children). I can't remember the last time I spoke to her... let alone the last time I saw her. She's five years older than I; we've had a contentious relationship ever since I can remember. If she only knew how much I admired her when I was little; I bragged on her..she has the looks, she has always been the pretty one. She never had to wear glasses as a child (something I've worn since the age of 7 and obviously needed quite a bit earlier); she never had to wear braces (ditto, I wore them from age 7 to age 9); she always had males buzzing around her like flies to honey. I longed to be popular, pretty and talented like my older sister. She apparently despised me from an early age, lying to my mother about things I never did, playing physical pranks on me... she kept it up as an adult as well. I only found out a few years ago from my grown up niece and nephew as to the extent of the lies. I took my niece (18 months older than my daughter) with us on vacation to Sanibel Island, she was 15, my daughter 13, almost 14. We had a great time; I took the niece out for breakfast one morning, just the two of us, and we chatted, giggled, the whole bit. I found out many years later that my sister had told her daughter I only invited her along to "babysit" my daughter so Pete (my husband) and I could go out. Funny, we never went out without the girls, not our style. She did everything she could to misrepresent any attention I paid to either one of her children. She would not allow them to visit us very often, nor could I stop by to see them unannounced.

Her son no longer has anything to do with her. I find the whole situation sad.

Still, I wonder if daddy even entered her mind yesterday...

Daddy's birthday

2006-02-17T09:11:00.000-05:00

Today is the anniversary of my father's birth..92 years ago (1914!). He's been gone for 10 years this August. I have such a feeling of melancholy on this day; 26 years ago my mother died, on my dad's 66th birthday, in the afternoon, before they had had cake and ice cream...daddy never could celebrate his birthday after 1980, it was terrible reminder for him, and though I tried to make it a pleasant day, he couldn't be drawn out of his sadness. He missed mom; he saw something in her that I never did. I think he always remembered the vivacious auburn-haired beauty he felt lucky to have "snagged" into marriage. She had no faults that he could see, he would praise all her efforts, defend her to me, and offer no criticism of her ~ when sober at least. The fact that she was never the person to me that she was to him always created a rift between us; the gulf was not a large one, but I never knew her when she was likeable, vivacious, talented, popular... I knew her as whining, surly, bad tempered, ill-kempt, and acid tongued. So many thoughts are going through my mind today. I can only be happy today is Friday, bringing the promise of a relaxing weekend (even though I hafta work a half day!), and the week off next week (yay, yay, yay).

Got some disappointing news...

2006-02-13T06:20:00.000-05:00

Hi all. As some of you may now, I write little fluff articles for our local paper here in Central Florida; I can only submit every 60 days; usually I have two or three in a year's time. They are mostly irreverent pieces based on the mistakes I make in my everyday life... or I pick on my husband and exaggerate his foibles (my most common subject, much to his complete dismay). I got word from the editor, last night, that unless my pieces offer an opinion, a strong one, they will no longer be printed! I don't do opinion pieces, I do commentary about eBay, being a chocoholic, trying to plant a flower garden, observing my husband recuperate from an appendectomy, going through the drama of having a pool built, watching men shop in a hardware store, enjoying the sounds around town, commenting on God's sense of humor (after all, He made the giraffe and the chipmonk...), attempting a Christmas light display for the yard, working at home with a cat as company.... those types of things. They are always meant as gentle fun poking, to be entertaining, and as a means to escape the seriousness of life... I'm pretty sad about this; I've lost a creative outlet for myself; I have especially enjoyed the responses I've gotten to some of the things I've written (astonishing as to how many people have taken me seriously!). Oh well.

You people are so easy! :)

2006-02-11T06:17:00.000-05:00

Good grief, I didn't expect the peanut to be the big hit of the photos.... I've decided to post some more, mostly for my own edification, and to see which ones you will like... hmmmm, wonder if these comments will be on the next post or not? I can't take long to do this, the cat is hungry, and you know what that means....

Posting a cupla pics

2006-02-10T06:19:00.000-05:00

I'm hoping these pics come out okay... good fer a laff.

The cat could be my cat's twin; the "gator" is a play on "Gatorade" and the peanut caption is "assaulted peanut." har de har har

I'm fine, thanks for asking

2006-02-09T09:59:00.000-05:00

You are a Black Coffee

At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable
At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty
You drink coffee when: you can get your hands on it
Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

I've just been tired and bored most of this week; tomorrow's Friday, I'll snap outta it.

Fourth time I've posted this same post...

2006-02-04T16:42:00.000-05:00

I'm wondering if I have screwed up somehow and have messed up my template so that my posts are disappearing? They show up initially and then I never see them again.... Even Apos noticed.

Anyway, I thought I would find out how many of us had nightmares as children and just what they were... I had two. They were both quite odd, off the wall... but I'll only tell you right now about the one I had more frequently.

I was a young child, probably somewhere between the ages of 5 and 7, though I started having this particular nightmare younger than that. I was always in a square room that did not seem to have a door. The room was sparsely furnished, a couple of straight-backed chairs and a small table. There was one naked lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. I was dressed in a shirtwaist dress (typical 1950s garb); there was an older girl (not yet woman), also dressed in a shirtwaist dress, who was chasing me round and round the room; her intent was malicious; she sometimes had a knife, sometimes not. The peculiar thing was, her head was a perfect square. She had a cubed head, with hair, normal facial features, but a real "block head." This same dream would frighten me so that if I had it, I would force myself into another location in the house to try and return to sleep to a more pleasant dream. Odd scenario, ain't it? :)

What about you?

I want this to be my avatar! but I'm lost...

2006-02-03T10:55:00.000-05:00

I thought the picture was here, but it disappeared; I'm just stupid and too old to figure all this out... I never thought of myself old until today... :(

Thanks Apos..... thanks Lauren...... I now exist! :)

Bored with it all

2006-02-03T02:40:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel simply bored? I'm bored with my routine...now that a big part of the book project is completed, I'm glad but somewhat unsettled and I'm not sure why. I will need to provide typed "keys" or answers to the voice files, which for the most part I have completed, just want to go through them all one more time, but I don't want to sacrifice another entire weekend to it, as I did last weekend. That had to have been two of the most mentally exhausting days I've spent in quite awhile. I'm bored with this stupid weather... up in the 80s for highs two days in a row, it will rain today (if the weatherman is to be believed), and then lows in the 40s, highs in the low 60s... Yep, BYG, that is cold to me! I'm not so bored with my job... we are finally going to upgrade our entire dictation system, which is about 18 months later than they should have... so that should prove to provide some interesting challenges and unexpected glitches. I've never thought of myself as a "thrill junky" but I sure do lead a very boring life... maybe it's just the fatigue talking.

BTW, my own personal siamese kitty whom I love does not have AIDS, but my daughter's cat, who is currently living here along with all the rest of her animals, does. That's proves to be a dilemma, since if she should scratch and draw blood onVal (mine), or bite Val, then she could spread the virus to Val. Val is not the most healthy of cats, she has some type of breathing problem (rapid) that can't be "fixed" as well as a heart murmur.

BTW, #2: JackieSue, I don't think you can donate your organs with hepatitis, since that can be transmitted via blood; I'm not sure if that would include donating your corneas (should you be interested), because I don't know if they are harvested with any type of blood supply. Babs: You can draw up advanced directives, i.e., a Living Will with all your end of life health preferences spelled out, and any health provider is duty bound to follow your instructions. The Living Will is free; you may be able to download a copy from WebMD or some other site; otherwise, your local hospital should have copies to provide you FREE of charge.

BTW #3: Lauren, I have no idea how to take that wonderful picture and osmose it into the avatar. I'll try, but when it asks for an address, that completely throws me off... :)

Take care all.

Nuttin to say

2006-02-02T03:19:00.000-05:00

Apos, nope not somber (who could be with the weekend approaching?)... just have nothing clever or thought provoking to say... I did finally successfully cross a hurdle with that book project on which I'm working and am flooded with relief to have crossed it... waiting on all the "powers that be" in the organization for which I work to approve the transfer of voice files for the education/training module; of course, all relative personal info has been stripped from the files (I did that personally), but jumping through the hoops of having a VP, the lawyers, HIPAA coordinator, risk management all sign off on it has been a draining process, and one that has taken far too long. The publisher gave us a "drop dead" gotta have the contract signed date of last Friday, and we were shy one approval... I begged for more time, at the behest of my boss, and finally got approval at 4:30 yesterday afternoon... just after the managing editor sent the boss and me an e-mail pretty severing the relationship. After more frantic e-mails, we're back in partnership, but it sure has not been easy. More work for me to finish it all up, but I'm hoping to have that done Saturday. Too much info, eh? :) Sorry ya asked, ain't cha? :)

Mulling over mortality

2006-01-31T04:24:00.000-05:00

I've been working about an hour already this morning, and am starting my third transcription on a patient who had a massive cerebral hemorrhage/subdural hematoma, who is "brain dead." The first one was in his 60s, the second one in his 50s, now this third one is in her early 70s. I suppose this touches a nerve with me, as that's how my mother died (in her sleep, thankfully). The dictating physician keeps recommending "comfort care" and getting TransLife involved for possible organ donation. Now how many of us have really thought of donating our organs after death... or those of a loved one, if the situation arose? Even being in the medical field I find the whole idea somewhat ghoulish. I know intellectually it is the right thing to do, and I should be gung ho about it, yet.... I ponder even more the incredible selflessness and sacrifice of parents who permit their dead child's organs to be donated... I just don't know if I would have that much presence of mind... I really feel for those folks who have to do the "asking." Can you imagine having such a task? . Sorry so somber, I'm having a somber day so far.

My weekend ramblings

2006-01-28T07:50:00.000-05:00

Gotta get the hub up, it's nearly 8:00 and we need to start the weekend. I'm pretty much chained to the computer, finishing off the book project as best I can. At least I'm not on a clock and can walk away as often as I like. It's surprisingly chilly here, was not supposed to be... danged weather folks can't seem to predict the temperatures around here! Looks like the sky is clear, but the temperature is a little too brisk for my taste...perhaps a reason to light a fire in the fireplace, cold weather wimp that I am. Hub's asthma has been giving him fits the last couple of days; he had wanted to attend a "mens breakfast" at our church (started at 7:30), for which I woke up him in time to get ready, but he said he just couldn't garner the energy after a fitful night's sleep. I know he enjoys them... I've often wondered why the ladies don't do a breakfast as well... if they do, they don't bother to let me know... which in the scheme of things really wouldn't shock me... Time for my second cup of java, and a gaze out the window; too cold for the porch swing this morning! Have a nice weekend everybody.

Reflections for a Friday

2006-01-27T05:54:00.000-05:00

Yay, tomorrow is Saturday... I'm hoping to get all the extraneous work I'm doing for that publisher completed this weekend. One stressor gone... how many more to go? Just getting up this morning, with the promise of a weekend coming up, I lumbered out of bed with a dance step (okay, so it was the stomp, it was still a dance step...) The coffee dripping took on a life of its own as the aroma wafted back into my office; the day took on a little bit of a smile, I hugged the cat an extra time (much to her distinct displeasure), tickled the chihuahua's tummy a little too long (his eyes rolled back into his head and I could swear he was smiling!) and I surveyed the clutter with less of a "jaundiced eye" than usual. Two days off from work..the ability to sleep later than 2:15..looking forward to pizza and watching saved shows on the DVR... thus, my Rhapsody in Slippers... I'm not going to let this euphoria fade.

Sharing some interesting queries

2006-01-25T15:53:00.000-05:00

PONDERINGS

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you areremoving a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no onetalks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'llsqueeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Mouth noises

2006-01-25T09:38:00.000-05:00

Ranting... I work as a medical transcriptionist; I used to work transcribing as a secretary prior to entering the medical field, so I've been doing this, actually, since before graduating from high school (summer jobs, etc.) The biggest change I've noticed is the utter contempt and out-and-out rudeness which I have to listen to! Just now I was listening to some doc go um, um, um, um, clear his throat, snort/sniff a big wad of ???, then repeat the same mantra over and over and over again. I've heard doctors in the bathroom, one doctor toilet training his young son, dictators eating, drinking, having side conversations, laughing, yelling at nurses, yawning, trying to dictate on the interstate on a cell phone with the window down..... all so danged frustrating! Don't they realize human ears have to endure these assault to the senses? I was never subjected to such coarse and crass behavior "back in the day..." We've just gotten too "casual"... I can't stand, in my daily life, for someone to call me, then proceed to eat in my ear, or worse yet, take the portable phone in with them as they use the toilet.... EWWWWWWW!

BTW, kitties do get AIDS which very closely resembles the human virus, though it is not transmittable to humans; they have the same immunocompromised state making them susceptible to every little germ that comes along.

Rant over.

Glum, bad news about kitties

2006-01-24T09:15:00.000-05:00

Hi all. Sure is ironic how one can be in a whimsical, good mood and then have the rug pulled out from under ya... daughter's kitty has AIDS; which means she either got it from my kitty (indoor kitty, so I doubt it), or gave it to my kitty as well (which seems much more likely); I nursed my last Siamese through diabetes for more than 14 months a few years back before I finaly had to have her put down for seizures, and I just don't think I can nurse another cat through a chronic disease; at least diabetes was treatable, this is an eventual death sentence for even a light cold, GI upset or the like. We just had the matriach cat, Moira, put down about three weeks ago... I can't imagine a catless household, going from three cats to 0. I took a half day off today, just felt like dealing with my emotions about all this without the hassle of work... they are so good to me in that regard, I'll simply work Saturday to make up my time. In the scheme of all the crises in the world, this is a flea bite, I know, but I just had to share my feelings... thanks for listening.

Survey says.... :)

2006-01-23T12:48:00.000-05:00

3 names you answer to
Peep, Mama/Mom/mother, Anna

3 parts of your heritage
Irish, Iroquois Indian, Welsh

3 things that scare you
Close lightning strikes, aggressive drivers, aggressive dogs

3 of your everyday essentials
Coffee, sweet iced tea, TV remote

3 things you are wearing right now
Slippers, long Tee shirt, baggy shorts

3 of your favorite songs
Beethoven 9th symphony, Mr. Bojangles, Are You Going to San Francisco?

3 things you want in a relationship (other than real love)
Loyalty, honesty, emotional support

2 truths and 1 lie (in any order):
I played the saxophone in a jazz band in college, I do needlepoint to relax, I used to work for Billy Graham.

3 things about the opposite sex that appeal to you
Masculinity, playing in a group sport (particularly baseball), raw courage

3 of your favorite hobbies
Reading, writing, swimming

3 places you want to go
The beaches at Normandy, Ireland, Glacier National Park

3 things you want to do before you die
Learn to ice skate, become more well rounded, finish college.

3 ways that you are stereotypically a female
I love/crave chocolate, collect/trade recipes, enjoy dressing up and going out for tea to the Grand Floridian at Disney.

3 people you would like to take this survey
Hillary Rodham Clinton, Pat Robertson, Snoop Doggie Dog

See how incredibly boring I am? :)

Staying home to work this morning...not in da mood

2006-01-22T08:22:00.000-05:00

Hi all. Pete (hubby) went to church, I stayed home to work on that educational module for the publishing company with whom I'm working currently. I'm not in the mood to work, frankly, but I can't put it off any longer. I knew I wouldn't go to church this morning, am not feeling well enough to be in class and the sanctuary for 3 hours; hope to go next week, but that will depend on how much progress I make on this project. It's takes concentration (editing/proofreading), and I'm fatigued this morning. I have a deadline, so must get hopping at this project... just thought I'd check in briefly. Ugh, tomorrow is Monday! ;)

Porch swing pictures

2006-01-21T10:43:00.000-05:00

Sam, these porch swing pictures (ignore the dusty, dirty background, we're in the process of reflooring) are for you; the wind chime picture is for my amusement. The chimes say "never too many friends, flowers or hats" !!

Personality of the blog sites

2006-01-21T06:27:00.000-05:00

Hi all. Good Saturday morning to most of ya... Saturday afternoon to one or two, and Saturday evening to a coupla of ya... (love the idea of that; the time zones continue to fascinate me). Anyway, I was thinking... I appreciated the supportive comments yall left me; Babs, I normally go to bed around 7:00; wake up around 1:00 for "Bladder Time!", then never quite get back to sleep before my final wake up call, either 2:15 or 2:45, depending on how much OT I'm willing to work (starting work at 3:00 versus 3:30 basically). I guess that boils down to about 6 to 7 hours of sleep. Frankly, I'm not sure that's enough for me, but probably it is. Last night I went to bed at 11:30 ish, was up at 5:30, simply couldn't sleep any longer. I had taken a 45-minute nap last night, between 8:00 and 9:00, so I guess that translates into 7 hours of sleep. I feel more awake and alert this morning than I do normally; I did start back on the sublingual B12 Wednesday, and corrected my dose of levothyroxine (thyroid stuff), so maybe it was a lack...

Anyway, I wanted to post about personalities of the different blog sites. I started on this blogsite originally back in July, but technically it was too difficult for me to figure out, and I never got a comment on anything I posted; so, I turn to the other blogsite, mostly for it's simplicity and the fact that I got responses. Now that I'm more familiar with how this site operates (largely because of the kindness of Denise), I find this site offers me more encouragement, other viewpoints, and has a definitively less competitive tone than the other site. The other sites seems to troll for responses to stay "popular." I've duplicated some posts, but for the most part, my tone and tenor are different here than there. I've never been popular, so there isn't much incentive for me to maintain a popular blog; however, I would like to have insightful interchanges, if you know what I mean. I feel stalked sometimes on the other site, because of the ease to read other blogs, so I guess that is a definite downside.

Anyhoo, I'll be headed for the porch swing in about 20 minutes; wanna see the black and white shadows melt away into the morning colors... I'm drinking outta my Gary Patterson cat cup, so I'm not on the clock to work today! Yay!

Have a wonderful weekend yall.

Friday at last!

2006-01-20T06:39:00.000-05:00

There has to be something amiss when I live for the weekend... can I dislike my job that much? I don't think it's the job so much as the mindset. I realized last night that I haven't left the house to go anywhere in I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG... scary. I can't remember the last time I got in the car to run an errand or go anywhere... am I crazy? Why don't I want to get out of the house? Working at home has been the worse thing to happen to me, physically and emotionally. I've created this comfort zone from which I don't venture out, and the isolation is becoming longer and longer between forays outside. I've found myself going to bed before 6:00 p.m. three times this week, simply unable to stay awake... I don't know if it's the lack of vitamin B... or what? I guess I'll end up taking the shots as the doctor suggested... at least that will get me out of the house once a month.

Good seats at the Magic game tonight

2006-01-18T03:14:00.000-05:00

Hi all. Thanks for your support on my previous post... I love you guys, you take my side and defend me... who could help but love a buncha people like that? :) Hubby and adult daughter have some "fine" seats to the Magic game tonight, so I'll be solo for supper (they will grab a sub at Hoops before the game, therefore getting free parking, nyuck, nyuck). I'm not cooking just for me, am rhapsodizing about what I might like... I'll probably settle for a bowl of Cheerios (with yogurt, they're yum!). The tickets were AD's Christmas present (a friend of a friend has season tickets, sold me two for this game); they were pretty pricey, but what she wanted, and I was pleased that she asked her dad to attend with her. It'll be a somewhat late night for 'em... I'll hafta make sure hubby walks the Punk dog before they leave, cuz I'll be asleep (and hopefully not awakened) when they get home. If I can catch a nap this afternoon, I'll head over to church for a Wed night class; last Wed I didn't make it, went to bed at 6:15; went to bed last night at 6:15... I can't seem to remember to take my B12... guess I'll end up going to the doc and getting a shot once a month.... I'd like to perk up some, he seems to think that would do the trick.

No good deed goes unpunished, I guess..

2006-01-17T14:46:00.000-05:00

I've been inundated with e-mail from a gal with my professional organization... I donated about 12 to 15 voice files which I took the time to edit, and e-mailed them to her probably the end of October. She e-mails me Sunday afternoon that she sat down to listen to them, and can't open them... seems after all the hew and cry about getting them in a hurry, she decided 2-1/2 months later to finally sit down and listen to them... I have no problem playing them... but she can't play them and somehow after four e-mails that has turned into my fault... they come off a proprietary system where a converter file is required to be downloaded; I sent her instructions on how to do that... but it seems as if that is too much trouble. Her latest e-mail to me is that others have sent her voice/wav files and they can all be opened without the hassle mine have caused.... so I politely wrote her back and told her if she didn't need these files, then I guess it was just a mistake for me to take the time to edit and send them... It'll be a cold day in hades before I offer to do anything more for this group... on my own time, thankless effort that I made, because I'm apparently some type of completely inept fool.....

My google ads on the other place...

2006-01-16T07:20:00.000-05:00

I posted a little fluff on the other place... about how fascinated I am by my chihuahua's tiny black lips... (heck, I have a tendency to tell on myself).... they're cute lips, teeny tiny little black lips, which he will not let me touch (unless he's asleep). I don't know why they fascinate me, but they do.... anyway, I finish that fluff post (like anybody would read it anyway)... and the next thing I see is a google ad to shop for lips dog on eBay! Wha????? I couldn't help myself, I just roared and laffed until the tears were streaming down my face..... and Google has increased in value per share on the Wall Street Stock Exchange by more than 200%???

Yea, I'm gonna invest in a few shares right now... :)

Wistful thinking

2006-01-15T08:02:00.000-05:00

Good morning again! Missed church, overslept; it's in the 30s on the porch, a nip of weather which tends to play havoc with my husband's asthma anyway.

This weather/winter season has got me to thinking. I never experienced nor saw snow until I was 17 years old... my family moved to Black Mountain, North Carolina, in with my grandparents; I was starting my senior year in high school; I moved after going to school in Central Florida with the same gang of friends/enemies/acquaintances since preschool. My senior year in high school is not a year I care to recall in any detail... I went from a senior class of about 725 to a senior class of 123; some of my classmates in NC were already married and had children... a different mind set and culture from whence I had come.

Anyway, I finally saw snow. It doesn't accumulate in any great abundance in NC, though. I have, to this day, never made a snow man, never made angel wings, never had a snowball fight, never been on a toboggan or sled, never ridden in a sleigh... These are all things the child in me still wants to do. Unfortunately, my husband has an aversion to being anywhere where the temperature falls below 70 degrees... I have told him that I wish to budget for us to take a short trip anywhere where there is snow so that I can at least build a snowman, have a snowball fight, and ride in a sleigh... he is doing his best to dissuade me, but I stand firm in this... sometimes I'm quite wistful to re-experience the wonder of seeing it snow at night against the porch light. That's as strong a memory for me today as it was when it happened ~ more than 30 years ago. (I hate to admit to my age). I think "armed" with inhalers and all his meds we could manage about three days somewhere in the snow... I just want to go outside in it, build a snowman, throw a few snowballs, plop on the ground and make angel wings, ride in a sleigh, and gather multiple pictures of my time in the snow...

Sounds in the dark

2006-01-14T06:55:00.000-05:00

I've been awake since 4:43 a.m. I finally got out of bed "for good" at 6:20 ish. I thought, why force myself to try any longer going back to sleep, when it was stubbornly not happening. It is blustery outside, more like a March wind than January. As I laid in bed I could hear the faint wind chime responses to the more energetic breezes (soothing), as well as an occasional clatter of a tree limb hitting either the side of the house or the roof. The dog was snoring softly...which turned into a nasal whistle for awhile, then returned to the soft snore; hubby was snoring softly as well; between him and the dog, there was a definite asynchrony to the rhythm of the breathing which was interesting, not annoying. Our ever faithful grandfather clock reminded me how long I was lying there awake, in majestic and dulcet tones ~ a sound I never tire of, though sometimes fret at how quickly time seems to be passing. I'm up now, though not refreshed. I've probably managed 6-1/2 hours of sleep, which will "catch up" with me late this morning, and I will be ready for a "power nap" or lazy snooze before 11:00...

I think I'll venture out to the porch swing to see if I can catch the shadows.. the world in black and white before ole sol shows himself and the colors start to emerge.

Good morning all.

Strange day, but not in a negative way

2006-01-12T15:55:00.000-05:00

Hi all. I had a rather strange/interesting/exhilirating/validating type day today. I've been doing some "filling in for the boss" stuff that I don't normally do (but have since the holidays), which can take anywhere from an hour to three hours daily, depending on what comes my way.. today was light in that regard; but, I had other and interesting, quirky circumstances present themselves, popping up intermittently all my work day. I enjoyed the diversion; I enjoyed the verbal interaction with "the big boss" and her interest in some of the problems we tried to solve together. On top of that, I received a validating phone call from the publishing company with whom I am working on educational books, the managing editor of which agrees with my thinking entirely (makes one feel like there may be a little gray matter still left in the old noggin, duddin it? :) Then, I got another validating e-mail along the same topic from a "big cheese" in the professional organization, glad that I will be part of the panel discussion in Boston... Lastly, I will be going to Boston! My hubby is getting a "bonus" in April rather than an hourly rate increase, and has insisted that I use what I need from that in order to ensure I go....

Gosh, just a rewarding, strange, exhilirating day. Hope yours was just as good.

Another brief blurb

2006-01-11T03:19:00.000-05:00

Apos, yer right, I need to print out the list I made, thanks for prodding; I'll do that right after work.

I just received an invite to participate in a panel discusion at the annual convention of my profession, held in Boston this year. I had planned to go so I could pick up some continuing credit hours (need 30 every 3 years to maintain my certification), but when I got wind of the room rates I decided I couldn't afford it ($178 a night!). Now this invite comes along, and I'm thinking about how I can budget and scrape up the moolah to go... was gonna take Pete (hubby), but he thinks I should go by myself. I'm not willing to put the monthly bills at jeopardy to pay for this kind of trip, which will probably be close to $1000 after all is said and done. That's a lot of money to me... maybe I'll start a fund drive called "send a cracker to Boston" !! :)

A brief blurb

2006-01-10T03:17:00.000-05:00

Just a brief little visit before I start work this morning... I've been busy and brooding, if you know what I mean. Hubby is being presented with opportunities and challenges at work... classes, more or less, to teach him other skills. I say jump on it, even if you're gone four days a week (which is what it looks like) in the evenings.. that makes our time together even more valuable and hopefully places a sense of making the most of it rather than snipping at one another or ignoring one another. I don't like the idea of him being gone four nights a week, but if that is temporary and will better his position at work, making him a more valuable commodity in the job market, then I say go for it, especially when the "company" is picking up the tab for the classes. I just wish I liked my job as much as he likes his... I need to find things outside of work to do which interest me, it's finding the time that is the problem. Hmmmm, getting out that list of goals/things to do in 2006... need to print that, just haven't! Take care all. Hi back atcha!

Two hours of troubleshooting... the rat finks

2006-01-07T12:34:00.000-05:00

What possible pleasure can anybody get out of writing viruses, trojan horses, and sending them in e-mails to others? I never download anything without scanning for viruses first; unfortunately, my hubby is more trusting and apparently downloaded a virus the last time he was on the pooter, which activated as soon as I turned the dang thing on this morning. I have two computers, one I use for work (Windows 98 SE) and the one I use for "play" (this one, XP based). After two hours of trying to figure out how to disable the file so Norton Antivirus could repair or delete it, I finally decided just to "restore" the computer to an earlier date... (what a wonderful program that has turned out to be); thankfully, that got rid of the bad file. I've told my husband, not in the kindest of terms, that he simply cannot use my computer anymore. I've warned him and warned him about how to safely read his e-mails, but he forgets and looks at the subject line rather than the sender... I just can' t have my computer infected. He will have to use the computer at the library to read his e-mail... or set up one downstairs for himself.

Moreover, what kind of sick pleasure do people get in trying to ruin other people's computers? I just don't understand the mindset and it irritates me to no end. I need my computer, and I don't have endless funds to keep it as "safe and secure" as possible. I already use Norton and Spy Sweeper... to protect me from the ugly intent of others.... it just sickens me that people get pleasure and/or renumeration for making others' lives unpleasant.

Rant over.

Dog getting a bath, tree finally down

2006-01-06T09:31:00.000-05:00

I may take a picture of our forlorn, but bedazzled with icicles Christmas tree as it awaits its fate, lying by the curb. Hubby didn't take it down until last night; I was enjoying the evergreen smell so much I just couldn't bear to have it taken down yet; the fragrance was wonderful, even after all this time! I would have left it up, but our livingroom is overflowing with too much furniture (with the tree in there); we're expecting quite a cold snap tonight, I want to have the fireplace roaring, so had to take the tree down. Last vestiges of the holidays... though I usually don't care for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, I do like some of the trappings associated with them... :)

Punk dog (our chihuahua) is getting a bath this morning; daughter works for a vet, so it just couldn't be more convenient... I just heard from her that he's a little irritated... guess so, ha!

Getting out my trekking poles

2006-01-03T05:03:00.000-05:00

Hi all. Thanks for your comments/sympathy about Moira. She'll get a memorial stone, right beside Screamy; we'll have to come up with something appropriate for her...

I'm getting my trekking poles out today, and starting my walking/physical well being campaign. It's really leaf turning over to eating a more healthy diet, increasing my exercise, and doing some weight training. I did some weight training several years ago and never felt better; I belong to a Wellness Center (employer), but it has never given me the benefit of the weight training/walking regimen I had through a personal trainer, so I'm going to set up three visits to that same personal trainer if I can find her, then cancel my Wellness Center membership and do my weight training at home; I enjoy lifting the weights, and the benefit is pretty quick. That's just one of my personal goals this year, but the most important one with the biggest commitment on my part. I enjoy the trekking poles, for some stupid reason. I probably look rather out of place with them, but I like using them... just can't use them and walk the dog at the same time, so I'ved decided to go with my hubby when he comes home to walk the dog, and follow them with my trekking poles. We'll see how it works out. That means I'll get out and walk at least twice a day, which is a good thing. Now, to wean myself off of fat and find suitable substitutes... not so easy for somebody who likes both mayo and ranch dressing! :)

Do you think pets go to heaven?

2006-01-02T15:51:00.000-05:00

Probably an absurd question for most...we just had our 20+ year old kitty put to sleep this morning; she was getting weaker and weaker; I couldn't get her to eat or even drink the last 36 hours of her life; daughter took her to work with her this morning (works for our vet); vet put her to sleep, which I expected would be the most humane thing. She had gotten painfully thin, but was still going where she wanted to go and doing what she wanted to do, on her own terms, until, probably Saturday late morning. Vet's office was closed or I would have taken her down there Saturday; I didn't expect her to last until this morning, frankly, but she had always been a tuff kitty, smart, too. We had her a long, long time; she was the feline grande dame around here and put up with no guff from any of the other animals, canine or feline, no matter what their size. I loved her spunk, her independence; she was not a demanding cat, yet chose to be close to where we were most of the time, without being intrusive; aloof, watching us, and once in awhile deigning to get on a lap or sleep against the small of one's back.... I'd like to think Moira is up in heaven now, healthy, frame filled out, back in her prime, reacquainting herself with our beloved dog Missy and my sweetest feline ever, Screamy. I guess the Bible doesn't mention pets in heaven for a reason... but I still would like to think they will be there to greet me when I get there.

So much for optimism...

2006-01-02T07:58:00.000-05:00

Crummy weekend. No other way to put it. I'm going to get coffee now, work a little on a project, and breathlessly await the daughter coming home from work in all her fury... I don't believe I can deal with her venom and temper much longer; hubby is oblivious because it is usually only aimed at me (he is her slave, does anything she asks/demands); I'm not going to let a 27-year-old daughter dictate to me, cast aspersions on me, and treat me with disrespect... I can't face another year of it, I'd just as soon take my siamese and find a 2-bedroom place of my own. I don't feel like writing about it anymore, there isn't any point in trying to bring anybody down to the bottom where I am right now. Take care all...

Last 5-1/2 hours of 2005...

2005-12-31T16:21:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been an unusual day, not my typical Saturday. I worked for an hour off the clock, felt like it was in the interest of patient care... I'm not worried about whether I get paid for it or not. Hubby and I sat down and set some household goals for 2006... we'll aim toward them anyway. He and I are not exactly on the same page when it comes to priorities, but we'll see what happens. I can't get too agitated about it one way or the other. Supper is on, sausage, cabbage and potato salad (probably sounds strange to most of you); I'm having ham, hoppin' john and green bean casserole tomorrow, though haven't bought the ham yet (guess I gotta do that, huh? :) The tree will come down tomorrow night or Monday morning, then sit forlornly on the curb with all the other discarded, once proud and pretty trees, only to be fodder for the local landfill... to me there's something poignant about seeing a recently glorious Christmas tree laying by the curb with a few icicles stubbornly clinging to its branches, with it still somewhat fragrant, needles still green... what once was is no longer. Makes me a little wistful and sad when I drive up the street seeing them all awaiting their final fate...

Is today April Fool's Day?

2005-12-30T12:09:00.000-05:00

I just noticed the headlines on our local TV station... tropical storm Zeta has formed in the Atlantic.... hello? We are a month past the end of hurricane season! I was thinking we were not supposed to play cruel jokes on each other at this time of year, April is four months away....

Time passages...

2005-12-30T09:40:00.000-05:00

Hi all. Guess it's getting close to reflecting on 2005 and welcoming 2006. The older I get the faster time moves; sometimes that's a good thing (my 9-hour work day!), sometimes not so good (since when did a weekend become only 12 hours long?) I'm going to re-read my list of things to accomplish for 2006 and probably print a copy and put it somewhere to remind me/encourage me, and only for me to see.

I'm also going to spend a little time savoring 2005 as it draws to a close. For instance, I started blogging this year, which has given me new friends and a wider perspective. I actually bought myself an oboe, something I would not have had the guts to accomplish had it not been for my blogging friends. I joined a new church, which I enjoy attending. I had a couple of magazine articles published, I participated in creating a educational module/book for my profession, and I was appointed to a county review board (a long-time goal, though I had to resign because of scheduling conflicts). As I list these, I'm actually starting to feel a little good about myself ~ usually only a fleeting experience. I'm optimistic, can't help myself.

Love and best wishes to my friends here... I hope you know I mean that. ~ Anna

Any plans for a New Year celebration?

2005-12-29T03:08:00.000-05:00

I appreciate the ebay comments; I started out looking for vintage things and found a lot of things I was looking for; this latest fiasco probably makes only the 5th "deal gone sour" that I've had in more than 425 transactions, so I can't complain about the odds; I am annoyed, but I should have known better than to get a breadmaker on ebay. I usually get art work, T-shirts, vintage dishware, vintage games, that kind of thing. I got a gently used barn jacket for myself from there that I just love, interesting colors and in great shape. Ah well.

We have no plans for New Year's Eve, do any of you? I can't remember the last time we actually "partied" the year in...I have such a hard time staying awake, frankly, it doesn't seem worth the effort. I do get optimistic about this time every year about the things I want to change and improve upon. I made an appt to have my hair colored tomorrow; something I would not normally do, but something I have vowed to do for the new year.

Gotta get cracking at work; haven't had my first cup of java yet!

Saga of the broken breadmaker

2005-12-28T04:57:00.000-05:00

Hi all. I lodged a "dispute" with eBay over the breadmaker fiasco, mainly because I did not want to leave negative feedback for this girl (she being new to eBay), and also because she would not answer my e-mails... I will be satisfied if she returns the $35, in a money order, same as I sent to her. I want her to learn a lesson from this so that she will be an honest eBayer and not give anyone else the hassle/grief she has given us. I could have left her negative feedback, but I felt that not only would I not get my money returned, but she might in some way harrass me, either via the mail or through others at eBay (paranoid somewhat I guess), so I felt the best course of action was to utilize eBay as the go-between. She answered the eBay inquiry and said she would refund the $35 in full, this Friday ("this Friday" seems to be a favorite phrase of hers). I responded that I would only accept a money order (no checks), same as what I sent her. She steadfastly maintains the breadmaker was new, but I have the scratches and black marks on the kneading blade to indicate otherwise.... Oh well, lesson learned. I will take that $35 and add some to it, and get myself a breadmaker here somewhere.

2/3 of a cheesecake, about a dozen chocolate jumbles, and half the pound cake remain to be eaten. I believe we all are feeling like chipmunks with full cheeks...nobody really wants anymore sweets, yet they don't deserve the trash heap either. I'm craving a good, fresh salad (good grief, I've been possessed by another soul, that certainly can't be coming from me!)

Better understanding today

2005-12-27T05:49:00.000-05:00

Hey. I had a "serious" discussion with hubby yesterday. We had had breakfast, it was just the two of us drinking coffee, before starting projects, and I asked him, nicely, what made him buy me a ring, after all the past history of ring buying and the fact that I wanted a watch... he told me I had shown him a picture of a ring I admired ~ and I did ~ a "past, present, future" 3-stone ring... it was a generic picture, certainly not from the jeweler he chose to go, and certainly not for the price one would expect to pay; anyway, since they didn't have one of those rings, he decided to try and find something else. I guess I can see his reasoning... we can't afford a 3-stone ring for me, it's pure fantasy; I thought he understood this was a "wish list" type of thing that I would buy myself should we ever win the lottery, but I don't seriously entertain the idea of getting one. So, I'm feeling better about his lapse, and can understand it better. I've asked my daughter to keep an eye on his gift giving forays (for me), and urged her to dissuade him from buying rings for me in the future, should it come up...

Now we're wrestling with the decision of home improvement or not. We've refinanced the house once, have a low mortgage, and would like to add on another bedroom, return our garage to a garage (presently a bedroom and bath); I wish I could get an impartial (i.e., no vested interest in the outcome!) expert to tell me whether or not this makes sense for us...

Back to work today; things are feeling more normal, though I could get used to having the days to myself...to do with what I like rather than having my activities dictated to me by other circumstances (WORK!) :)